roy g biv

after a wonderful week in davis ca, we bid our goodbyes to day after day of 65 and sunny to make our way back to chicago, where the snow is blowing so hard at our apartment's altitude that it actually just looks opaque and white out the window.  we had a balmy (for chicago) 35 degree day yesterday that reese and i took advantage of with a run, only to find the wind was blowing so hard off the lake my earbuds couldn't even anchor themselves in my ears.  

i think it's safe to say the countdown has officially begun, even if my cautious, reasoned, calculated spouse, who dislikes nothing more than counting his chickens before they've hatched, is wary of making any formal announcements before deeds are signed, boxes unpacked, and new jobs begun.  so you heard it from me:  the countdown has officially begun.

as i mentioned when we signed off last week, we kicked off superbowl sunday with a 10k.  after our previous effort around navy pier, the athlete in david was reawakened from hibernation and he really got down to business in terms of training.  unfortunately, he was met with two minor but significant injuries in the 8 weeks between races--anyone who has a competitive fiber in their body can appreciate that what's harder than sustaining an actual injury is then respecting that injury and allowing it to heal while training days continue to tick by.  i am very proud of him for waiting it out and not making it worse, although he was prepared for big disappointments, and resigned himself to taking it easy and just comfortably completing the race.

then, race morning came, and i was unpleasantly awakened by the sound of a wake up call, an alarm clock, the news, and david out the door to get a 5:30am shot of pre game espresso.  the next two hours were a regimented routine of eating and drinking calculated portions of protein, carbohydrates, and caffeine, a brisk walk to the start line, and a warm up that i quit about 1/4 of the way in because it was more rigorous than i intended to run the entire 6.2 miles.  we parted ways (and next time will probably do so beginning the night before the race--jeez!) as i made my way back to the older adult/young child/running with strollers/recovering from injuries/interval training/walking area, and david was off to the front of the start gate.

approximately one hour later, we reconvened at the crepe restaurant next to the finish line where big boy and grandma were cheering us on...unfortunately we both managed to run through the wrong finish line and missed them altogether.  but, if i thought an athlete had awakened in november, i had no idea what i was in for.  as it turns out, david's injuries were all but absent, the land was flat, the air was dry, the sky was sunny, the scenery was lovely, all melding to make ideal race conditions and allowing him to blow through the goal he had set, which has unleashed a new sense of dedication, inspiration and excitement in him.  we're already signed up for our next race, back along chicago's lakeshore, this may.  it will probably be our last race in this fair city for a looooooooooooong time.

after a short walk together through the uc davis arb including a notable wild turkey sighting, i spent the next few hours enjoying downtown davis solo, including a very thorough calf massage with my mani-pedi, and meandering in and out of bookstores, coffee shops and the like.  there's something so charming and comforting about a college town.  a year ago i really liked it and could see myself living there, but revisiting with a stronger sense of finality, i find i really love it there.  i returned to our hotel in time for kickoff, and a few hours later i accompanied david to drown his sorrows in some thai food and beer.

the next day we spent a leisurely afternoon in berkeley, meeting cousins mary and jim for lunch, and taking an extended stroll through campus.  here, chief had his first real encounter with grass.  he seemed to like it.  we love berkeley's beautiful campus, full of majestic trees and delicious, cheap food, even if two of our favorite restaurants there recently burned to the ground (!).

meanwhile, the word from michigan is that bean came down with yet another terrible virus and spent the rest of her stay there spiking fevers and barfing all over the place.  poor bean.  fortunately, she has definitely turned a corner we're told, just in time for our much anticipated reunion tomorrow (with dad and reese) and sunday (with mom, since i have to work tomorrow, boo).  in spite of her illness she still manages to look awfully cute.

now, before our precious princess bean returns to her kingdom, it's really worth noting how much we've truly enjoyed the last week with reese.  with both parents' attention on him, his grace and charm have become so delightfully apparent.  i doubt there are many parents of a 9 month old who can say to them earnestly at the end of a cross country trip, thank you, sweet prince, you made this trip so much more wonderful by coming with us.  not a single setback, wrench, or surprise, not a whine, a cry, a shout, not even a single poorly timed dirty diaper...when i say he was great on this trip, i don't mean in the context of having a baby on a trip.  i mean that we enjoyed ourselves infinitely more with his constantly smiling, giggling, babbling little self around every moment.  and now that we are home, he has played quietly by himself through several cycles of laundry, unpacking, and working, allowing us to type, read books, wield scissors and needles, coming around every so often to offer a big grin, and go back on his merry little way.

this past week, as we buckled and unbuckled him countless times, in and out of house after house after house, dragged our feet through tours of daycare centers and suffered through a particularly long afternoon at a new housing design center, on and off of flights, through security and baggage claim...this remarkable child kept a smile on his face when really, i would have rather been anywhere but where i was.  

the most difficult part of parenting is patience, and accommodating the needs, before your own, of somebody who lacks the ability to be rational, reasonable, or understanding.  and here, we have this magical little baby who has more grace and patience than any human i've ever met, at only 9 months old, when truly he has no reason to believe the world shouldn't completely revolve around him.  we have registered over the past several months that he must be very mild mannered and easy going as he rarely complains, and by default, rarely gets the lion's share of attention.  

his warm and lovely spirit that we have been able to appreciate more than ever this past week is a humbling reminder of the importance of attitude and perspective, that no matter how uncomfortable or how unfair life can be, you can choose to make the best of it.  when i reluctantly return to work tomorrow, i have vowed to myself that i will try to be like reese, to put a big and sincere smile on my face regardless of what is happening around me, and to bring goodness and light to the people i interact with.  that is all he does, and the world is so much better for it.

reese's favorite song is "roy g biv" by they might be giants, a song about the rainbow.  one verse goes:

"you'll never see a unicorn, but you'll see a rainbow, and inside every rainbow is the spectrum of light.  you'll never see roy g biv, but he's inside the rainbow, and inside every rainbow is the spectrum of light."

we feel so lucky to have our own little roy g biv, a cheerful little man who lives inside his own rainbow and brings happiness to everyone around him.

two only children.

ok, i know i spent the entire last post ranting about how these kids are driving me absolutely batty...apparently i was so frank that even my husband felt a little uneasy reading about it.  but, one week ago today we cut the number of our offspring in half, sending bean off to michigan with her grandparents for a full TWO WEEKS during our trip to california.

i knew my workload would be cut by 75%.  i knew i would have far more free time, more time to spend with reese, an incomparably smoother trip, and more relaxation, not to mention a very clean and somewhat un-childproofed apartment.  but when we headed back west to chicago as bean headed east out of kalamazoo, i was so depressed i didn't know what to do with myself.  no amount of skype can possibly compensate for her hugs and kisses, her laughter, her sweet little voice that has finally found words to describe her world, the way she runs to the door and falls on her knees giggling when i come home from work, the sound of her bouncing in her crib when she wakes up and trying not to smile when you walk in to get her, our secret bedtime ritual, and the uncontrollable excitement between her and reese when they first see each other in the morning. 

the day before she left, we wanted to spend some one on one time with our princess bean, since neither child ever gets the undivided attention of both parents.  we woke up and she made herself some banana chocolate chip pancakes, generously pouring batter all over the kitchen and my purse.  then she took off on the town, walking next to her empty double stroller all the way to the institute of art.  here they have an awesome play area (free) for kids with lots of books, toys, blocks, computers, etc.  we had a lot of fun there.

 

fortunately, i worked the next 72 straight hours which served as a decent distraction from my heartbreak.  three back to back 12 hour shifts of floor nursing is pretty punishing, so i was happy to be floated to icu for one of those shifts, until my 250 lb stroke patient fell on top of me and may or may not have broken my arm in three places.  it was definitely time for vacation.

i was very anxious about having only one day to pack everyone for the trip until i realized i had only one child, and the day was actually quite leisurely with plenty of time to pack, relax, go for a run and go shopping.  ah, to have only one child.... life is definitely much, much easier.

after a brief flirtation with imperfection, the christ potato is back to being magically delicious in every perfect way with the one notable exception of his new 5am wakeup time.  still hoping that phase too passes.  soon.  but really, i feel we can't complain given that all he does from 5am to 8pm is smile, play quietly by himself, babble and has developed a pretty adorable giggle that's a dead ringer for marge simpson's.  it really makes us laugh.

it has been a lot of fun spending so much quality time with him, and i'm sure he enjoys the attention.  we continue to be incredibly impressed with how well behaved and just generally delightful he is.  on our day of travel, for example, he went to bed late the night before, then we woke him up at the crack of dawn, had an el ride, security, a 4 hour plane ride, and another car ride before he could finally relax.  he was all smiles but for the 2 hours he slept on my lap while i knitted, after which he entertained himself in his own seat.  seriously.

after briefly refreshing himself, he enjoyed a fireside dinner of cheese (garden)burger and sweet potato fries, because he eats everything (except babyfood, because that's for babies).  for good measure, he also decided to try standing up for the first time.

we spent literally the entire day yesterday with a realtor, taking him in and out of his carseat every 5 minutes, blowing off his nap time, waking him up from his late nap time (which i'm about to do again in 10 minutes), and traipsing around town (our impending relocation to davis, ca, i realize is a rather major detail we've yet to discuss on this blog).  he drooled happily across many a doorstep, yanked on blinds, played with pets and even traveled happily on the hip of our awesome realtor when his parents' arms grew tired of his happy dancing...you would have thought this was the best day of his life.  even at 5am, you just can't be irritated with this kid.  he has given a new definition to low maintenance.  i think to myself often that he's a tao baby.  his approach to life seems to be to just go with the flow...i think that bodes well for a pretty content future.

meanwhile, the report from michigan is that princess bean too is enjoying her life as an only child.  she's been a busy little bee reorganizing nani's kitchen, playing in her mom's old bedroom, and getting up close and personal with snow.

she's also growing acquainted with her brand new potty chair.  while potty training is a long way off, we see no problem in the two of them becoming friends early on.

we have been talking and skyping with her often.  to reiterate, we just miss her terribly!  we know we're missing out on a very exciting time in her development with this language explosion...yesterday we called to say goodnight and she said "bye bye, love you."  the cutest.

but sometimes, especially given what a wonderful time we're able to have enjoying reese, it's nice to have mandated apart time so both kids can get the attention they deserve but can't possibly receive for the time being. 

anyhow, we've got most of the legwork for our home search, phase one, behind us, and are now looking forward to enjoying some leisure time for the rest of our stay here.  that starts bright and early tomorrow with a 10k in town, so it's for now, it's bedtime!

sigh.

this week has left me, us, very weary.  both kids, i'm happy to report, are out of the woods regarding their new year ailments.  i myself have another cold under my belt for 2012, but so far the kids seem immune to it (curiously).  however, when babies get sick, it's not like adults or even older children.  it's not a day of malaise, three or so of real misery, and then a day or two more to recover.  it lasts weeks, between the terrible sleep, then returning to a normal sleep schedule.  refusing all food, then reacquainting with solids that were an unfamiliar experience even before.  you can't tell a baby to eat this, sleep now, drink that, take this medicine, and so, any illness reverbs, literally, for weeks.

bean is definitely back to her old self, experimenting with new foods (and asking for "mo" or "mas" particularly in regard to chocolate), reading, laughing, dancing, singing, and adding exponentially to her vocabulary.  she is saying a few new words every day, it seems, and finally tries to repeat all words back when we're reading together.  she continues to impress us with her letter recognition as well.  today she said her first two sentences: "reesee's sad" and "reesee's happy."  both accurately.

reese is using his ninth month to make up for the first eight in which he was perfect.  realizing he'd set the bar awfully high and was thus risking a
lifetime of disappointment, he decided to fall from grace in his babyhood when his fat rosy cheeks still somewhat compensate for it.  my little angel baby who i never heard cry since the day of his birth cried for about two straight weeks between his terrible cold and then what we chalked up to teething once his other symptoms resolved.  his behavior during the day is thankfully a little more status quo, although he's not as content to just play by himself all day as he once was, but his sleep has turned into an ugly monster of a problem that scares me before bed each night.  he is up screaming HOURLY and awake for the day at 6am.

it's a cruel trick of nature, but i know that sound sleepers suddenly shirk those good habits without warning and have spurts of restless sleep.  i define a spurt as a few days.  we're going on two weeks now and it's worse every. single. night.  i was so fed up/exhausted last night that i finally went to sleep on the couch (again, sleeping arrangements and space in general in this apartment is not ideal) while he screamed his bloody head off for 1.5 straight hours at 5am.  i always try to comfort myself in those situations by saying "they can't cry like that forever," but he's working on it.

additionally, he's definitely in that phase, right around the time bean was, where he doesn't want to sit anywhere.  no carseat, no high chair, no stroller, no diaper changes.  thrusting, screaming, crying, and inevitably hitting his head on something.  he's no longer interested in cereal and purees and has been subsisting entirely off of lentils, of all things...he really surprised me tonight when, out of curiosity, i gave him a little bite of rice and split peas that bean and i were eating, and he munched away on it happily, followed by a few generous mouths of blueberry cake.  clearly, he does not have the same textural issues as his sister.  so, maybe he's just ready to graduate from grain cereal and purees!

sometimes babies have behavioral issues that correspond with big developmental changes, and this week we have watched the big boy become very agile, easily moving from sitting to crawling and back.  that's a big step toward independence, i think.  he also started talking in consonants, mostly "dadadadada," which bean recognizes as understandable language, so now they have lengthy conversations which each other, which is pretty cute.  not as cute as sleeping several hours straight, though.

overall, i'm really exhausted by these kids right now.  reese's increasing demands make it difficult to attend to bean in the way she's accustomed, which can lead to a lot of tantrums, depending on the day.  between the staggered naps and meals, mood swings, refusal to sit in anything, and cold weather to boot, life right now is day after day after day of confinement to two rooms with zero privacy, quiet, or solitude, and almost constant whining/crying/screaming.  i think often as i wheel my screaming children through public and people look on sorrowfully if they're aware of how absolutely god awful it is to hear that sound constantly, all day, and now, most of the night.  they might reconsider who they feel sorry for.

the other morning they were particularly needy and after feeding and changing both of them, i had to pump, which i have to do sitting on the floor or they scream because they can't reach me.  they were climbing, crawling, tugging, whining, pulling apart the pump, and reese has taken to climbing with all limbs and his mouth with his sharp little snaggle tooth that has left puncture marks all over my body...i literally felt like i was being eaten alive by parasites.  their little hands get into everything, ripping, tearing, destroying everything in their paths.  it's difficult to feel like you can never, ever do anything...not just anything you want to, but anything you need to...can't drink anything, it will get knocked over.  can't go to the bathroom, they scream because they can't be held.  can't even look at the kitchen or bean will pitch such a fit she will turn blue--no cooking, no eating, no doing dishes.  day to day, there is not a lot of joy in parenting right now.  THERE.  i said it.

however, once in awhile, i'll get a day where the stars align and the kids busy themselves long enough for me to drink a glass of water and make us all some lunch, take a nap at the same time so i can drink some hot tea and read a few pages in a book.  and suddenly my faith is restored in...the world?  justice?  equity?  humanity?  obviously i never lose my faith in the kids--i'm very aware they can't control their behavior.  that's what makes it so difficult.  they're irrational, demanding, illogical, and mercurial, they take, take, take, and really there's no good option but to give, give, give...but that's a tremendous, burdensome strain, it's contrary to everything we know and understand about relationships.  it saddens me that their proximity in age prohibits me from enjoying either of their babyhoods much...i'm just really looking forward to one or both of them moving on to the next phase as soon as possible.  but, trite as it sounds, there are moments of laughter, of tenderness, of discovery and curiosity, concern and companionship and understanding, few and far between as they may be on some days, that really do make it more than worth it.  and for the rest of the hours of the day, i will steadfastly cling to my knitting needles, my saving grace and comfort, the singular "me" activity that carries through all this adversity, and dream of when i can disappear here sometime maybe in the not so distant future...

we have been accumulating some serious work hours in preparation for a trip we're taking to california in a week.  david has one more day of work to go before a two week break!  for someone who only works two days a week in theory, i have found myself a little too present between the walls of my hospital, picking up a lot of extra shifts, sometimes in the icu, today in the er.  it was neat to see the very different workflow that david is a part of daily.  i never thought that was something i'd enjoy, but i actually thought it was pretty fun.

however, we have managed to get out once or twice, and of course, work on some knitting projects!

we celebrated jeannette's birthday with a kid-free-adults-only brunch at the signature room in the hancock building.  we were all a little off kilter without the kids running around, but managed to have some adult fun.

we presented her with this silk mohair cowl i started in my xmas knit withdrawal stage.  it's my most serious lace project to date and also my first beaded project, 300 tiny (so tiny you can't see them here) little glinting beads shimmied onto knit loops on a hair thin wire, to be exact...never have a screwed up a pattern so badly and still ended up with a presentable, even rather nice, result.  but i'd like to knit it again now that i figured it out, just for curiosity's sake!







david and i had our first date in several weeks, which we celebrated by seeing the third movie in a theater of our entire relationship.  we braved a legitimate blizzard (wherein i very chivalrously lent him my hat seeing as i had a long scarf, a hood, and hair) to enjoy some italian pints followed by a small feast at xoco, a favorite mexican restaurant.


we were enjoying ourselves so much that we were running a few minutes behind to see tinker tailor soldier spy, but were relieved to find a showing of war horse was set to start right on time for us.  given how much we enjoy films about war and animals, and the best picture nods, we figured we couldn't go wrong.  i left the movie with one burning question...have the people who nominated war horse for best picture actually seen war horse?  we finished the evening with dad making a pit stop in the theater bathrooms on the way out and dropping my hat in the urinal.  perhaps it's best to avoid movie theaters altogether in the future.





other than that, i finished the girl who played with fire, very entertaining and easy to read.  and finally finished up what was meant to be a baby gift and turned into a rather major care package consisting of several minor gifts for my dear friend alyssa who should have welcomed another little one sometime this week.
 
  


this week's recipes were toasted millet pilaf and winter vegetable stew with maple glazed tofu.  bean liked the tofu but didn't much care for the stew, david and i felt neutral, and reese ate more of that soup than any of us in a few breaks from lentils.  even when the recipes aren't ones we'll hurry to return to, it has been pretty nice having large, warm pots of nutritious and interesting foods around every week.

our plan is to enjoy our beautiful little bean's company as much as possible the next few days because we say goodbye to her for TWO WEEKS this saturday.  she's off to michigan while we head to california.  i don't want to think about it!