spring forward.

today is the best day of the year.  it is the day that everything changes.  it is the day that means spring is really just around the corner (or is it already here?), the depths of winter are behind us, warmth and sunshine and all the wonderful things that come with them are so very close now.  today, everything seems possible.  there is hope, freedom and change.  today is the day we spring forward.

it's arbitrary, but no other day has such an impact on quality of life.  we have one more hour now to work around naps and meals, and every day we're that much closer to the sun...we are ready to burst out of hibernation and get back outside!  this winter has been mild to say the least, but anything below 60 degrees and getting two kids appropriately bundled and restrained to travel 15 minutes to the nearest patch of grass is defeating enough to keep us indoors day after day after dark, dreary day.

but today we arose to sunshine and temperatures soaring well into the 60s, bestowing upon me and the psychotic population of chicago a wonderful sense of mania.  i went out for my weekly run and was so uplifted by the throngs of people walking dogs, having picnics, playing beach volleyball, that i ran and ran and ran until i wore away most of the cartilage in my right knee.  i can no longer walk, but it was so very worth it.  i limped home in time to put the kids down for a nap, make dinner and dessert, post on my other blog, and tackle our christmas tree with all four limbs.  yes, it's march 11 and our christmas tree was still standing until a few hours ago.  my whole body is covered in scratches and punctures and one major welt so i look like i have measles, an inevitability that allowed the christmas tree to remain standing long past the appropriate window to begin with.  but today, the greatest day of the year, i can summon the energy for even the most daunting of tasks.

aside from today, i haven't got much to report.  i am working approximately triple-time, as much as i can without actually dying of exhaustion, to try and scrape together every potential penny for our move and our house.  fortunately, this month i can pick up many extra shifts in the er as an admitting nurse, which is very low key, and a nice change of pace from the floor.  dad just wrapped up his final month of pediatrics for this residency, and we all seem to have escaped without catching one of the many gross communicable diseases smeared across all those grubby little faces.  score!

our home away from home continues to unfurl, this week with the framing going up.  david spends most of his spare time daydreaming about the structure and keeps me busy at work with emails detailing shades of paint, textures of carpet, sizes of tile, and patterns of granite.  i know.  you didn't think he had it in him.






the kids are blissfully unaware of all these big plans, but continue to do well.  this has been a relatively mellow week for us, free of major illnesses (hopefully the worst is behind us for this cold/flu season).  bean did get her first diaper rash of her life--we're still scratching our heads over that one--that left her screaming when she peed for a few days, but has fully recovered.  reese's nose continues to run more or less non stop, going on about a month now.  we've adopted this as the new normal.  bean is increasingly obsessed with "DEL" and knows all of her songs by heart.  we have to hide our computers or she throws fits trying to play del all day long.  she has become very proficient at her abcs (this has taken the place of old macdonald during diaper changes) and 1-10 in spanish.


we managed to steal away to see girl with the dragon tattoo at a discount theater...the sound quality was so poor we literally only understood about every 20th word.  i'd read the book so i could follow what was going on, but david has probably enjoyed other movies more in his life.  at least he didn't drop my hat in the toilet this time.



















i know i spent plenty of time talking about knitting in my last post, but my most recent knitting purchase has truly revolutionized my craft.

i can wind my own skeins at home!  i'm like rumple stiltzken!  much like an extra hour of daylight, this might not seem very significant to some.  however, winding my own balls means that i can readily purchase high quality wool online without having to make a special trip to the yarn store to have it wound (or to browse yarn...with prince and princess crabbypants?  forget it.), or to attempt knitting without winding which always ends in tangled heartbreak, without exception.  

i was slaving away at a very non child friendly knitting project (thin yarn, lace...why do i keep trying to knit lace around children?  not possible, i've decided.  and i wound it by hand around one of their toys, so now it's even more tempting to grab and throttle) that will someday become a sweater for bean if i can keep plugging away at it.







but, i was becoming so disheartened, i decided to try out my new winder and dive into my biggest project, the wedding gift i mentioned in my last post.  this is probably the most child friendly knitting project ever.  the pattern is easily memorized, the yarn is pudgy and sticky so stitches remain intact despite all the pulling and tugging from my helpers.  i thought this would take me months to knit but it works up so fast...i should have knit my first piece for myself out of this fabulous wool.  i don't usually frog or work two projects at once, but this is a nice combination.



anyway, hopefully we can check back soon with new pictures of the house!  happy spring everyone, we made it!

in like a lamb.

the one major notable drawback to staggering the kids' naps is, on days like today in the fair month of february (but not really, because most other years today would be march) when it's 60 degrees without a cloud in the sky and we're stuck inside.  this can be partially remedied by opening all of our windows and creating an 80mph wind tunnel through our apartment which rather accurately simulates the chicago outdoors.

it's hard to believe that one short year ago, we were still digging ourselves out of snowmageddon, and now we can count on one hands the days that we've even seen snow fall from the sky this season.  no complaints here...we had more than enough misery last winter (and the 26 that came before it) to eliminate any inkling of nostalgia over our final "winter," hopefully for the rest of our lives.

speaking of which, the foundation of our future home has officially been poured, a rather symbolic occasion, as though the seed of our life in davis has already taken root.

this past week, grandma jeannette had cataract surgery.  while she regains the gift of sight, nani has stepped in to mind the little ones as mom and dad continue to work away, now more than ever with what little we've been able to save transferred directly to our future home.  a worthwhile investment, but scary nonetheless.  with these extra hands on deck, we've been able to enjoy two recipes from our cookbook this week:  open face tempeh sandwiches with mushroom gravy and radicchio watercress salad (dad's favorite thus far) and lentil spinach soup with vegetable buckwheat pancakes and spicy yogurt sauce (mom's favorite thus far).

while i've been scrounging around for odd hours on different units, attending meetings, or working on staff education projects, david has been busily studying away for his final inservice exam of residency, which thankfully concluded 8 hours ago.  we're looking forward to seeing more of him around here!

and as we've busied ourselves with work, the kids have been moving right along in their respective development.  reese is becoming quite agile climbing to a standing position on more and more challenging objects.  he has even stood and taken a few steps with their walking toy (which we purchased to help bean along in her protracted journey to walking, which she of course refused to use properly and pushed around insistently on her hands and knees).  both of them have been sleeping quite well this week, with a few impressive naps.  those are always a treat.

bean has been very focused on colors this week (most things are bluuuuuuuuuueeeee), counting (every other number is cuatro), and the alphabet (the first line: aaaahhh, bee, see, daddy, ITSYOUUU!  some letters have just become words--d is for daddy, and e is for eliana, but she calls herself "you").  a friend of ours recently gave us a puzzle that we had                                                                                                                                                    no intention of introducing to her for at least a few months...imagine my surprise the other morning when i saw her dump it out and put it back together in just a few seconds.  she's also becoming a very adept sous chef.

her most impressive progress this week has really been her singing.  she has taken a special liking to michael jackson (JACKSON!) and adele (DEL!) which she asks for multiple times throughout the day so she can sing along.  it's pretty cute.  this week she is 21 months old...suddenly so much closer to 2 than she is to 1...when did that happen?





































there's another important anniversary i've been meaning to address this month, so i'd better use this one extra day to do so.  one year ago, i decided to really learn how to knit.  i needed a hobby that i could easily transport, pick up and put down unexpectedly, forget about, remember, one that was baby friendly, requiring varying levels of attention and resilient to curious and surprisingly strong little hands.

i learned to hold needles and work yarn in my childhood from my swiss grandmother, and only now can i really appreciate that early continental beginning which has allowed me to hold yarn in my left hand!  i know we excel at what we're used to, but those english throwers just look like they work awfully hard.  i digress.

i went in search of a hobby, and found something that has become so profoundly, utterly valuable to me.  yes, knitting has provided me much of what i thought it would--a way to pass the time, a fun activity that's relatively childproof, a source of treasured handmade gifts, especially for babies.  but i had not expected that it would truly change my life in so many ways.

project by project, piece by piece, from super chunky wool to lace weight angora, aluminum, plastic, bamboo and acrylic needles (my beloved denise interchangeables), knit, purl, cable, rib, seed, moss, beads, buttonholes, i cord, kitchener, long tails, short rows, provisional, finger block, steam block, on the bus, on the train, in the car, on planes, in the hospital, in bed, at the doctor, on every lunch and dinner break,  i have worked my way through mile upon mile upon mile of yarn.

knitting has given me a sense of determination and accomplishment that i'm not sure i've found anywhere else.  with each completed project i have gained more skill and confidence.  i have felt the rewards of gifting my dearest ones with items i have loved making for them, and they have loved wearing.  i have learned about patience and flexibility, standards and troubleshooting.  i have made friends in the cyber and real worlds of knitting and have found a new community.  i have come to love the shape and feel and nuances in color of different yarn from different animals, spinners and dyers.  i look forward to reading the next chapter in a knitting book, to learning a new technique.  i stay up at night dreaming of new projects, or can hardly stay in bed after reese's morning feeding because i can't wait to start knitting again.

but perhaps most significantly, knitting has become a much needed comfort to me during a very challenging time in my life.  there is literally nothing i can do on my own schedule.  every second of my life is spent attending to the needs of others.  i can rarely eat when i am hungry, drink when i am thirsty, sleep when i am tired, i cannot so much as shower by myself, i am shackled to a space of 800 square feet and if i dare to even look askance at the wrong moment i might be greeted to one or two babies screaming, loudly, for a very long time with nowhere to hide or any promise of reprieve.  the days where i might sit and read a book, or take a walk, or visit a cafe, or make a phone call, or any of those great luxuries are a faint, distant memory.  any decision i make, literally down to what position i sit in, is 100% determined by the previous, current, and future five minutes of moods and needs of these two precious tyrants.

knitting, not resting or eating or reading or singing, not cooking or cleaning or drawing or painting, not jogging, not watching tv, but knitting, has become my lighthouse in a sea of early parenting unpleasantries, the one thing i can cling to, come back to, and look forward to, every single day.  i have been doing it long enough now that the kids can't possibly remember life without it, and it's the only thing i do that they seem to respect, or at least ignore.  this incites in me, a sense, artificial perhaps (but who cares), that something is still mine.  that i can still focus and achieve, plan and execute, that i can improve and learn and apply without any pressure or set schedule.  progress happens organically, but even if it's just a few

 stitches, every day it adds up, and then suddenly it becomes something lovely.  and i'm reassured that in this life there is a small but mighty compromise, that i can have something so important that is only mine when i have, in spite of my fierce independence, learned to share everything else.

when a day has left me so weary i cannot endure the sound of the first baby crying, awake for the day the next morning hours earlier than i'd hoped, i sigh with relief to know that i will have my needles, and i will find a way to knit, and that is only mine.  i will knit as reese lays across my chest to eat, i will knit as bean sits in my lap to read a book, and i will continue knitting long after they've gone to sleep at night.  no due dates or deadlines, no weather contingencies, no expectations, it is the one thing that is always just there, no fuss or demands, waiting for my exactly as i left it.  and in a life where everything is so constantly, rapidly changing, i cannot articulate the great comfort of having one thing that stays the same.

my first completed piece:

my last completed piece:

 

to celebrate this anniversary, i intend to take on my two biggest projects to date.  one, a wedding gift for some wonderful friends of ours, and the other, a piece for myself.  after all, i've been so thrilled to knit for others, i've got nothing to show for it but the cabled hat i made one year ago (and wear every day).  i already have the yarn, so beautiful and soft, bundled deep in my closet safe from tangling little fists, waiting its turn (behind bean's much belated xmas sweater, now more of a birthday sweater?).  i ordered it from this wonderful purveyor whose patterns and pieces i've admired a whole year, and finally treated myself to a purchase.

no, thank you.

together again.

as you all know, last week marked the conclusion of the absolute longest period of time we've been separated from bean.  i had the misfortune of working the day she got home, so i was bouncing off the hospital walls trying to get out of there in time to lay eyes on her before she went to sleep.  we did have time to give each other many good night kisses as she graciously stayed up late for me, but prior to my arrival, an even more emotional (and affectionate) reunion took place.

and ever since, it's been peas and carrots again.  we are definitely appreciating this time where they absolutely adore each other.  with the exception of occasional disagreements over toys and miscalculated limb placements, these two thoroughly enjoy each other's company.

we enjoyed a somewhat hectic few days with nani and zuzu, eric and emily, and cousins bob, lisa and colin higgs all here to welcome bean back to chicago.

some happy coincidences in scheduling allowed dad to have a few extra days home with us at the end of his vacation, which included valentines day.  i happen to LOVE this artificial hallmark holiday, and hear me out on this.  valentines day to me seems very analogous to halloween.  yes, it loses a few cool points being in the winter vs. the fall, and is the closer to a string of holidays rather than the opener.  so, it's no halloween, but it's still a holiday that invites fun little craft projects, parties, exchanging tokens, candy and sweets, without any strong religious or familial connotation, so you can make it what you want without any guilt or obligation.  rather than viewing it as a scam to make single women miserable and couples spend preposterous amounts of money on mediocre pre set menus, i choose to see this as a small beacon shining in the depth of winter, one last hurrah after the real winter holidays have ended to tide us over until spring.

on my last bean free day, i indulged in a little heart shaped crafting, making felt valentines for the kids.  reese's i filled with noisy paper as that is most interesting to him these days, and bean's with this little necklace, instructions on this great blog:

i was really inspired by my experience knitting xmas gifts this year, and have since made a commitment to make ALL handmade gifts this year.  it's scary to actually type that, but that's the plan...it's a fun challenge and certainly ensures some gifts will come late, but it's exciting to think about branching out from knitting in my crafting and putting a lot of thought and time into gift giving...isn't that the point?

obviously, the kids are just a bit too young to get really fired up about any holiday, but i think we all had a great time on valentines day.  it started with a thematic riff on bean's favorite, french toast, followed by the presentation of gifts.

buddy's went straight into his mouth, which is always a positive sign.  

bean was very excited to open and don her beautiful big girl necklace...

...for precisely .25 seconds before ripping it off her neck and breaking it.  it has since been reinforced and adequately bean-proofed.

we also of course had to end the day with a thematic dish:

perhaps more delicious than it was beautiful.

in other rather significant news this week, it's very possible that we may have a house, or the promise of a house, in davis california.  forgive the crypticness (see the previous post re: not counting chickens).  what i will say is that on our trip, we surprised ourselves by falling in love with a house that hasn't yet been built.  the idea of building a house never occurred to me before as realistic because it seemed far too overwhelming to do so without ever even owning a home, and from across the country.  as it turns out, this is why they make model homes.  without giving away too much detail, i had resigned myself to knowing that my current kitchen, albeit in a tiny apartment, might be the nicest kitchen i ever call my own for the rest of my life, or at least for several more years.  then i met this model kitchen.  love at first sight.

what ensued over the next week or two, i'm not really sure...a lot of back and forth between our wonderful realtor, other realtors, david, designers, associations, other potential buyers and realtors...i chose during this time to remove myself from the deliberation entirely (see the previous post regarding my utter lack of competitiveness, not to mention my very short attention span for anything pertaining to money--i can't even focus on a game of monopoly), until i came home from work last week to find a happy husband with a glass of wine waiting for me to toast our winning offer...now that's good service.

so, barring any major disasters of varying nature, this may be our house in five-six (!) short months.

anyhow, onto more important topics.  the KIDS.  i am thrilled to report that these kids have been an absolute JOY since bean returned home.  per the previous post, everyone knows how magical and special reese has been...in fact, it's a story too long to mention here, but the degree to which his charm and general adorableness helped us secure our future home over our competitors is an interesting consideration (note, he was a part of our toast).  he's finally crawling on all fours rather than like a well compensated hemiplegic.  he's also very focused on climbing and standing.  his sleep issues have all but resolved, in spite of waking up the other night moaning and covered in snot.  he's sleeping better with his cold than he did the entire last month.

however, ms. beautiful baby princess also deserves some serious praise right now.  as we suspected, despite her illness, she really flowered in michigan and returned to us a little lady.  it's amazing what a difference verbal communication makes.  she talks (and sings) all the time now, and is clearly picking up a ton of vocabulary daily.  she easily whizzes through the alphabet now, reading every letter, and is doing pretty well with numbers and colors.  she speaks in spanglish, really impressing us sometimes with tough ones like peacock or crocodile.  she is starting to put words together into caveman sentences as well.

it's great to be able to communicate with her more effectively, and this can really short circuit those horrible tantrums when we can decipher why they started.  for example, if she's screaming in her high chair because she wants to get out, she will scream incessantly regardless of what food, toy, affection or distraction you offer her.  however, if you ask her to repeat "i'm done.  can i please get down?"  she stops crying immediately and pays close attention, repeating word after word. 

she has been thoughtful, loving, clever and funny, attentive to her brother, attentive to us, making us laugh and impressing us every day with her new skills and abilities.  she also has a new favorite band, rodrigo y gabriela, a feisty mexican guitar duo.  david recently put on a video of them and bean instantly started dancing the pasa doble and rocking out on her air guitar, speaking of surprising us daily with new skills and abilities...

both kids have been sleeping great overnight and at naptime, so without needing a nap myself, i have opted to stagger their naps such that i have a few hours of alone time with each of them during the day, which has been fun.  they do well entertaining each other when they're awake together, but it's nice to get one on one time.  this makes it difficult to leave the house, but we're not in a big hurry to do that during the winter anyway.

we are back on track with our weekly recipes, this week enjoying a winter root vegetable and kasha casserole with an apple celery walnut salad.  i'm working away at a sweater for reese, but it's big enough that it might actually fit bean for a few months.

we're very happy to be reunited again and have a lot of excitement coming up in the next few months.  we will keep you posted!