to weefehville and back.

so, ash and i had our only overlapping vacation of the year last week and decided to spend it taking eli [very lovingly aka bean, the bean, beantini, beanpot, stink, the stink, stinktini, stinkpot (this has morphed into pol pot on the few occasions when she’s paradoxically fussy), stinkbean, stinkbottom, big girl, chubby checker, and, lest we forget, mr potato head] on her first official ex-utero roadtrip (she was a mere blastocyst during our counterclockwise roadtrip around lake michigan one year ago..

----from last year, perhaps eli’s first pic

this trip took us as far south as asheville, nc and back in a quite scenic, circuitous route, stopping to visit friends and family along the way………

first stop was unfortunately very brief. the drive from chicago took us through the indiana heartland straight to bloomington, home of our friends yuri, jarrod and juni (yuri and ash roomed together during undergrad-- she and jarrod will be getting hitched next month-- juni’s their dog). the drive felt as though john cougar mellencamp was sitting next to the bean in the backseat, playing his guitar and singing proudly. pretty pink houses, white picket fences, etc. very quaint. in bloomington we spent a very pleasant evening consisting of drinks and thai food throughout the smallish college town with yuri and jarrod, who were generous enough to offer the three of us their spare bedroom that night.

jarrod and bean

yuri and bean

juni and bean

the actual overnight is a very funny (to us anyway) long story that involved africa-style heat, crashing venician blinds and a streetlight that might have actually been the sun’s brightest adult nephew. our hosts kindly cooked up a hearty breakfast the next morning and it was off to north carolina after a brief windshield survey of the town and the indiana university campus (by no means unattractive, but we do love our own college towns…). we look forward to yuri and jarrod’s big day in st louis in a few short weeks………..

google maps subsequently took us through kentucky (and along with that my first bob evans experience— i’d say the cheeseburger was not bad),

where every other exit was a race track or a retired thoroughbred stable of some sort; then through eastern tennessee, where football is clearly a way of life as evidenced by the fact that virtually every single AM radio station was a talk-show discussing a different local small college’s chances of taking the D3 title this year, etc; and finally into north carolina. driving into asheville from the east takes you smack through the great smoky mountains. we got dumped on with sheets of heavy rain throughout this portion of the drive but were totally blessed once we arrived with perfect sunny, dry weather for our visit with two solids: katie and mark whom we both know through the nutrition program at michigan.

katie and mark at the best wedding ever.

we knew that they lived at a boarding high school (katie works there), but we were not quite prepared for what we actually stumbled across—Asheville School (cost is $40K/yr) is on a gorgeous and huge complex with beautiful lawns, brick buildings, wooden cabins, forest/shade everywhere, and spectacular views of the surrounding national park mountains. i dunno why but after seeing it for the first time i felt like everyone on staff there (except katie of course) would look and dress like sherlock holmes and smoke a pipe. that turned out not to be the case.

asheville school

bean for a stroll on the sprawling campus

also, bean's first michigan game day

asheville is a town i’ve heard about for years as one that can be mentioned in the same breath with places like austin, berkeley, madison and ann arbor, except that it’s not a college town despite the presence of UNC asheville. clearly ash and i are both partial to these types of cities for their culture, food, community atmosphere, etc. our first visit downtown confirmed the prevailing diversity: rednecks, intellectuals, hippies, and several honest nutjobs sat next to each other all over the place. there’s quite a bit of… charm everywhere you look. one appropriate shirt read ‘if you’re too weird for asheville, you’re too weird.’ agreed, but we loved it. our last day there included an arts fest that i think pulled the weirdest of asheville from their dungeons—particularly that one thing we saw at the very end. here’s a shot of the bean’s first exposure to chicks on stilts:

during our stay there, stinkpot put on her little baby crampons, strapped her chinstrap under her 2^nd or 3^rd chin and summited her first peak, mt mitchell. happens to be the tallest peak east of the mississippi river, thank you very much, and she did so without the benefit of an oxygen tank. you may notice that she now rides in ash’s carrier face-forward (big girl), which is also how she now likes to be carried in general. i think she enjoys surveying her environment first hand.

on the climb

the summit

--------------------and the next day at the nc arboretum

asheville’s food is one of its main draws. with so many solid options, we’d’ve been hard pressed to imagine a situation in which we’d eat at the same place each of our three days, not to mention a situation in which we’d order the same dish each time. that was until we had the huevos rancheros at sunny point cafe. ashley: “it’s how Christ would make them.” well said. also pictured, the bacon wrapped scallop eggs benedict...

next stop: pinch, west virginia to spend some time at asif (ash’s uncle) and roshanna (aunt)’s beautiful home/property just outside of charleston. we were introduced to the state as we drove in by coalmines that were a bigtime eyesore against the backdrop of pretty stunning forest and rolling hills, although according to the numerous billboards in the area, they’re critical to the economy of the region. i just wonder why they can’t mine from the other side of the same hill so that we won’t hafta see it from the highway. prior to our pinch arrival we stopped for gas and to feed the stink. imagine our reaction when we saw a longhair, sleeveless T-shirt dude (who may have been 25, or just as likely may have been 55) putting a crippled elderly female into the bed of his pickup. just as casually as if he were loading a cooler or stack of 2x4s, he sat her up on the tailgate, scooted her backwards, laid her flat on her back, and closed the tailgate so that her feet draped over the edge. not sure how else to comment on the situation. we later discussed this with roshanna to get her take: “maybe that’s just how she travels.” remarkable.

pulling up into the private road heading towards the house we were greeted but stinkbean’s first deer sighting which i did my best to capture:

before we even got out of the car we were given a most gracious and warm welcome by perhaps the two worst guard dogs on the planet, daisy (labrador retriever) and arlo (great pyrenees), who were quite effusive in welcoming us into their home.

before we actually got to the door, however, i swear that some monstrosity of a sunuvab*tch mosquito managed somehow to land on my back, stick its proboscis through my shirt, penetrate my shoulder blade, and exit through my chest. it had to have been that big. itchier.

on the night we arrived, mr potato head and i watched our first football game together from start to finish as boise st took on virginia tech in an opening weekend classic. she seemed to be a natural-born fan as she sat there shirtless, gut hanging out over her diaper, and dropping the occasional farts here and there just for laughs. the only thing missing was the beer in each hand. she opened her eyes wide for her first ever blocked punt and squirmed in appreciation of the significance of a missed extra point to go up by only 5 instead of 6 midway through the 3^rd quarter.

for some reason i can’t explain, she fell sound asleep at the beginning of bsu’s game-winning drive at the end of the fourth quarter. actually, now that I think about it, perhaps arlo’s toxic fumes knocked stinkbottom completely out. the big white beast prevented anyone within a two-block radius from fully appreciating this drive’s significance with at least one silent-but-violent that will absolutely live in infamy. very impressive arlo—good boy.

our next two days in pinch were as relaxed as i’ve personally had in quite some time—can’t remember the last time i sat out in the sun for the sheer sake of sitting out in the sun. their property is forested and beautiful, and includes a swimming pool that allowed the bean her first taste of chlorinated water. couldn’t have come at a better time. during our last evening, asif and roshanna put together a meal we won’t soon forget: gazpacho appetizer followed by indian cuisine and general deliciousness. great stuff. we were sorry to leave.

bean with asif and roshanna

as the terrain out of WV became far flatter, the churches became far more frequent, and the land became far cornier, we knew we were quickly approaching central ohio. at this point ash brought up a bumper sticker she’d like to design: ‘honk if you like my driving.’ brilliant. we were fortunate enough to see our very good friend joanna at her work place for lunch—jo is a graphic designer at the headquarters of abercrombie and fitch, just outside of columbus. *that* place is sweet. the three of us got a tour of the place where next year’s status standards are in the process of being created—it apparently takes quite a bit of effort to go from concept to the showroom floor. lunch at their cafeteria was awesome; the company even better.

-------------------the music was loud in that place.

last stop was west bloomfield to allow beantini to spend some quality time with her nani and zeda-upcha, who are obviously at least as infatuated with the big girl as anyone else in the family—makes me smile watching samina gawk on the floor cuz she can’t wait for the bean to get taken out of her carseat:

we returned home and delivered the bean, approx 7% older than when she left, to grandma back here in chicago. grandma was thrilled to have stinkpot back in her arms, among other reasons so that she could continue with her daily spanish lessons. coincidentally, joanna’s parents jim and deena had been visiting my mom in chicago, so we got to say hello for a couple of days before they went back to pennsylvania.

bean with grandma

bean with deena

the four of us already miss them and are looking forward to a state college reunion on some penn st gameday in the near future……

on a bit of a tangent, eli most definitely been developing physically and cognitively over the past several weeks. i ran through a practice medicine test recently-- one of the questions asked what the normal length of time is for an infant to double their birth weight. i was off from the correct answer by a full two months cuz my guess was based on my first-hand experience with chubby checker (correct answer is 20-22 weeks). big girl. ash is definitely getting things done boobwise. actually, the bean now has a dietary complement to her milk: 1mL of vitamins daily. while clearly she is still trying to figure out what the f*kk is going on when that sh*t gets squirted into her mouth, she has lately been doing a much better job of actually swallowing. stink.

also, over the past couple of weeks she has definitely been paying close attention to her hands and appreciating that they are not only attached to her body, but also seem to have some functions that may end up coming in pretty handy at some point. she started with the hand clasp, then appeared to truly contemplate the fact that she could grab on to one finger with the other hand, and just last night for the first time (that i’ve seen) seemed to make a significant effort to deliberately grab her toy dragon and bring it to her mouth. beantini.

she makes us so happy every minute she’s awake. she has a whole-body smile where she opens her mouth wide, cocks her head to the side, flexes her hips, and gives a double fist pump that will make anyone forget about any negativity they may have experienced during any stressful day. her smile is constant and totally infectious. we are so in love with her. even just watching her as she’s falling asleep—as she looks into your eyes and slowly loses the battle to longer and longer blinks… she’s the best. ash has very understandably said that the stink is so cute it makes you just wanna kill her, but not so that she’ll, like, actually be dead.

unfortunately, because of my schedule, i’m not able to spend nearly as much time at home as i’d like. clearly, among the best things about this break is that it’s given me a real chance to spend a lot of quality time with the bean, which is wonderful. what is at least equally as wonderful though is the mother/daughter interaction i’ve been able to fully appreciate for the first time at length… ash is exactly the kind of mother that all who know her would think she’d be. it’s so easy to watch how effortlessly she is able to realize exactly what the little stinkpot needs at every moment, and to see how loved she is in return by our little girl. it’s so reassuring to know that eli will be in such genuinely good, loving and capable hands for such a long time… it makes me happy.

the life of bean.

yet again we've (i've) been very bad at blogging. this time, however, it's not because i'm incredibly busy, but actually so incredibly unbusy that i have little motivation to do anything. funny how that works. the bean has turned into a piece of cake baby (more on that to come), my classes are mostly online, no exams, little homework, and grandma two floors up to step in when needed. as a result, the apartment is in a constant state of disarray and neither the bean nor i probably get as many baths as we should. however, it occurred to me last time we were in michigan that since i'm too lazy to keep a baby book for bean, this blog is going to be our only record of her early days, so i figure we ought to at least keep up. plus, i have officially commenced finals week, so it seems an ideal time to concentrate on this rather than school, at least for a few hours.


bean's first chargers jersey...starting the brainwashing early (~5 wks).


~10 wks

i see that the last blog was posted almost exactly two months ago...which is an eternity in bean time. she's become a whole different baby about 6 times over in that time period, which is pretty fun to watch. i believe where we left off, bean was cute and everything, but really making us unhappy with the several-hour crying episodes. we'd made peace with our colicky baby diagnosis, but weren't thrilled at the prospect of at least a few more months of nonstop screaming.


~7 wks


~10 wks

well, with all the fuss about colic, you'd never imagine that our bean's was cured literally overnight (though it took about a week to work out all the kinks). at the advice of our friend alyssa, we picked up a book called "happiest baby on the block," and after reading the first 5 pages, bean had about her 5th night of silence since the colic began. the next day i completed the book, and by the end of that week, bean was sleeping a solid 6 hours through the night at the tender age of 5 weeks. this is apparently unheard of in the world of babies. with a little more tweaking and increasing confidence over the next few weeks, bean started sleeping for stretches of up to 8 hours, followed by a quick snack, and now will go back to bed for another few hours after that without any trouble. if you know somebody with an infant, i recommend you keep this information private, as it seems to really piss off other parents.


bean's first time feeling grass, millenium park, ~5 wks


~10 wks

you may be wondering what kind of witchcraft we perform on our daughter every night, but it's actually quite simple. the argument this pediatrician makes is that for various compelling evolutionary reasons i won't delve into here, human babies are not quite ready for life outside the womb when they exit it. thus, they can be very fussy, but that can easily be corrected by essentially simulating womb-like conditions for the first three months of life or so. it's not hocus pocus, in fact, you'll see the simple techniques used in cultures all over the world where people use ancient wisdom rather than new technology to raise their babies. sometimes, less is more.

~ 7 wks


smiling lovingly at dad, ~9 wks

things like swaddling, rocking, sucking, and white noise go an incredibly long way in calming a baby. unfortunately, i'm not a tribeswoman in central africa, so for various reasons i can't keep bean bundled up next to my bare chest 24 hrs a day or hand her around my tribe to take turns bouncing her through the night, so we have come to really appreciate some modern conveniences like the pacifier, and the swing, which bean slept in for several weeks (now we have weaned her to the point where she only has it on to fall asleep, but doesn't need constant motion to stay asleep through the night).

~7 wks


bean with mom in the art museum gardens, ~9 wks

as time passed and bean and i both caught up on several weeks of no sleep, we began to get to know each other much better, such that now she never really cries (and thus, neither do i). she makes different noises and motions that to me, clearly mean different things--little ooo ooo mmms deep in her throat mean "i'm hungry," mmm mmm mmm mmmmmmmms mean "i've sat in this wet diaper long enough," waaa aaaas mean "please swaddle me, i'm tired and i can't quite fall asleep because my arms are flailing all over and i don't know how to stop them yet," high pitched yelps mean "help, dad is trying to dress me," and any of those will turn into angry yell-cries like the colic of yore if not addressed in a timely manner; for example, getting out of a warm bath into the cold air does not bode well with bean. anything else just generally means she wants to participate in the conversation.


~7 wks, little bean mermaid


bean on museum campus with dad, ~9 wks

bean has only really cried three times in her life since nipping colic in the bud, and it's amazing how different a cry sounds when it's not the "i'm pissed, do something about it" cry. the first time was when i pinched her skin buckling her carseat, and i knew instantly what a painful cry sounded like. the second and third times came almost two months later, within days of each other--not a good weekend for the bean. let the record state that bean is *not* a fan of injections, and a week later, i swear she is still getting back to normal after her first round of vaccinations. she did however receive her first dose of children's tylenol shortly after...man, that stuff works! a few days later, we took bean to the farmer's market as a nice family outing, which turned into one of the worst days of bean's life when a huge jet screamed across the sky at a decibel not acceptable for human ears, waking her from sleep and igniting within her a primal fear that she was about to be mauled by a sabertooth cat or something. she was so traumatized we took her home and she slept for 6 straight hours in the middle of the day.

~8 wks


~8 wks

other than that, bean is actually quite vocal. the little dinosaur noises are now reserved for when bean is just rousing from sleep...her other musings have become quite intentional and human. especially right before bed, she will erupt in a flurry of ooos and aaahs with a very determined look on her face. she is becoming increasingly social and really likes to be a part of whatever is going on, and tries very hard to contribute to conversation. she hates to be alone in a room, and can sense it even when she's sleeping. in our 800 square foot apartment we're never far, but she likes to be able to see us at all times. she's much more interactive, making great eye contact, soaking in her surroundings, and just starting to take an interest in her toys if you shake them around in front of her face. she more or less holds her head up by herself, tries very hard to sit up and practice standing (but screams if you put her on her tummy), and we just learned last week that she has almost doubled her birth weight (11 lbs, 2 oz) and has grown three inches (22 in)!

big girl! ~9 wks


~10 wks


~9 wks

she's so well behaved these days that it's easy to go on with life more or less as usual. she sits next to me on the couch and helps me with my homework, or writing this blog, as the case may be. if our conversation becomes a distraction, i just start reading some of my schoolwork out loud to her and that usually knocks her out (i can't really blame her). we enjoy taking baths, singing, and dancing together (vampire weekend's "contra" is her favorite to dance to), and she comes with us to most places, like cafes to study, friends houses, shopping, and all around town. not surprisingly, everywhere she goes, everyone falls in love with her.

~9 wks


~9 wks

certainly, the most exciting development for most parents must be the smile. that fat, happy, toothless face will put a song in anyone's step. while many psychologists argue that at this young age, babies are unable to associate smiles with happiness, i find that adults are so conditioned to associate the two that you can't help but be filled with happiness and smile yourself when the bean 's whole body breaks out into one of her beautiful, beaming grins. especially when you smile and she smiles back at you, it's about the best feeling in the world.

~9 weeks

aside from her development, the bean has had many exciting adventures over the past two months. first, grandma jeannette moved to chicago.

the grandmas with bean, ~10 weeks

later that week, the michiganders came into town to help with the dual move and celebrate mickey's birthday. while child rearing has its challenges, i'm considering timing the birth of a child approximately a month before any future move, so i have a legitimate excuse not to lift a finger. no seriously, not a finger. thanks, mom!

bean celebrating zeda-upcha's* 60th bday, ~5 wks
*mickey's self appointed moniker, just smile and nod.


bean making herself at home in the new living room, ~6 wks

bean has met many important people:

aunt marissa, ~7 wks


cousin lupe ~5wks


great nani schey, ~10 wks


great nana, ~10 wks


and after one meeting while both in utero and two with bean in utero, bean and cousin ava finally met in person in bean's first baby to baby encounter! ~10 wks

lots of other exciting things have happened...mom is one year older

bean, mom, and dad watch the sunset on mom's 26th birthday, ~8wks


and bean had many firsts:

first trip to the field museum (a first for mom, too) ~9 wks


first trip on the el


first jazz concert, ~9 wks


first trip to shedd aquarium, ~9 wks


first swim! with dad, in lake michigan (sawyer, michigan) 9 wks. after the initial shock (and a few squeaks), it seems like bean really took to the water. like everything with a baby, beach trips are very different...bean had an explosive poop on the long car ride over, so after cleaning her, the carseat, applying sunscreen, putting on a bathing suit and hat, and creating an appropriately shady, molded spot in the sand, we barely had time for one dip before we had to pack up and head home (after stripping the bean, drying the bean, and changing the bean again). before, david and i would sort of bury our valuables and swim together, but neither of us felt right concealing the bean in some bunched up towels to go splash around. fortunately, the bean is very cute, which makes it all worthwhile.


enjoying the beach

first summit of a sand dune...it was a tall one!

the bean also had her first big trip back to michigan. she got to play in the yard where her mom grew up:


and visit her future college campus:

legend has it that if you walk on the M before your first blue book exam, you will fail it. i have a strong suspicion that blue books will have become obsolete by the time bean becomes a wolverine, so walk she did! ~11 wks


bean studying with mom, espresso royale cafe on state st, ~11 wks

we have many more adventures in the near future as well...stay tuned for the scoop on aunt emily and uncle eric's wedding and bean's first extended roadtrip, both forthcoming in september...