we wish you a merry beanmas!

mom, dad and bean on christmas morning, 2010

i just did a quick scan of the last blog we posted and i really can't believe how much the bean has changed in a few short months. we have much to catch you up on in her life and in ours, so we can just go chronologically to stay somewhat organized about all the goings-on.

shortly after posting our previous blog, we decided bean needed to get one last trip under her belt before dad's vacation time came to an official end, although mom's schedule was already crazy the first week back at school. so, we packed up what shortly became an obviously too-small car to head to upstate new york and pay a visit to the higgs family. as a side note that ended up being rather significant, the day we left, i had an early morning at the hospital and was surprised to almost vomit all over my computer unexpectedly during morning report. i chalked this up to it being unnatural for humans to be awake and functioning at that hour, and any residual nausea on this trip was easily attributed to being folded in half in the backseat of our piece of sh*t car trying to read out of a textbook while driving for 12 hours. anyway, i digress.

the orchard at our sunset arrival--beautiful!

david, bean (4 months), barb, jeannette, dave, and heidi outside ted and heidi's house

we arrived at the higgs family farm and orchard welcomed by one of several delicious spreads we'd have that weekend. on our arrival, heidi handed bean her first screwdriver, which she promptly bonked herself in the head with (fortunately heidi had the foresight to remove the metal part first)...it's possible the higgs crafty gene might also have skipped her, but we continue to believe with early remediation, she will be redoing our floors and roof in no time.

heidi and bean on a horse that heidi and ted made, of course

david, the bean and i stayed with ted and heidi in their awesome farmhouse that they dedicate most of their free time to renovating, although they always have many side projects going on, like clearing and replanting orchards, for example. we came just a little late for some apples and a little early for others, but it didn't stop us from enjoying many walks among the different trees, munching as we went.

bean and dad on a sunset stroll through the orchard


apple face

bean picks her first apple!

we also had the opportunity to visit with bean's namesake, isabel. just nearing the end of a stint in rehab, isabel remained a very gracious hostess and introduced bean to some children's songs that bean's great grandma used to sing to isabel and her siblings when they were young. this soon became a huge project, and for christmas, bean received an incredible, hand written song book full of the words and scores of these songs, some over 100 years old, without any other existing sheet music. what a treasure! the higgses know how to do family heirlooms! our time in pultneyville was all too short, but we very much enjoyed our stay, as usual. hopefully we will make it back for another visit soon, but at the height of apple season!

dave, barb and bean

the month that followed was one of the more difficult we've had in terms of scheduling/parenting/etc. on arriving home from pultneyville, still plagued by a nagging nausea, i peed on a stick leftover from bean's pregnancy just for kicks, and in the biggest "you have GOT to be kidding me" moment of my life, that dang thing was positive, as were the three that followed. immediately my mind was racing...it had been months since i swallowed any sort of vitamin and i had just spent a week and a half on a self guided tasting tour of local breweries across much of the southern united states, all in the formative fetal stages for bean jr. not to mention the thought of being pregnant AGAIN, giving birth AGAIN, and having an infant AGAIN without an adequate onset of maternal amnesia, lacking the cushion of student loans, needing to find a job in an impossible market at 9 months pregnant, and definitely needing to replace our piece of sh*t car that can hardly fit one carseat and two adults...

where's bean? 4 months

bean at her first pumpkin patch, big girl!

and with all of this rattling around in my brain, doing about 60 hrs/week at school, bean stopped sleeping through the night because my milk supply rapidly tapered off and she woke up every hour starving, so no sleep+immunocompromised+working in a hospital= weird illnesses for which you can't take medicine while pregnant=rashes that leave ugly scars and coughs that last for months, further inhibiting sleep. i wouldn't call this a happy time.

bean (4 months), mom and dad at the st. louis butterfly garden


bean carving her first pumpkin, 6 months

this minor disaster led to some difficult adjustments, like starting bean on formula, which was very important to us as parents never to do, but when the alternative is starving, it becomes more appealing. the switch to formula led not only to very smelly poop, but an ongoing battle with constipation, which is very stressful for everyone. this led to an early introduction of solid foods, namely prunes, a jar of which is required per day to keep things moving in the right direction. bean also got her first bad cold during this time, so for two weeks all three of us were up all night with a very stuffy, very stinky bean who could neither eat nor breathe nor sleep... again, not a happy time.

bean communicating, 5 months

with mom on the balcony, 6 months

HOWEVER, this rather unpleasant stretch of several weeks came to a close around the beginning of november with great resolution. bean's digestive tract and our noses have adjusted to the formula for the most part, and her transition to solid foods was pretty painless after already doing prunes for so long. foods she has tried include sweet potatoes, peas, peaches, and most recently string beans (is that cannibalism?) along with her daily helping of brown rice cereal and of course, a hefty portion of prunes. while she makes some funny faces the first few days with new foods, she always ends up eating everything throughout the day. big girl.

bean's first rice cereal, 6 months


out for a walk, 5 months

bean also emerged from her virus/starvation/constipation with developmental leaps and bounds that were sort of stunted those few weeks. this started her transition into true, blissful babyhood where she is almost exclusively a fat, rosy, giggly, happy little ball. over the past few weeks, bean has become very proficient in sitting up unsupported and will play that way very contentedly with her toys. she's much more confident in tummy time and actually will tolerate it with a smile for longer periods while we practice rolling over (still something bean isn't inclined to do by herself). she has mostly outgrown her activity center where she lay on her back to look up at her toys, and has transitioned to her jumparoo, where she is supported upright and can put her monster quads to work, jumping frenetically, spinning around, and playing with new toys.

bean in the activity center, 5 months

bean in the jumparoo, 6.5 months

bean playing with her toys, 6.5 months

she is far more interactive and aware of conversation, tones of voice, and the presence and absence of toys, people, and cats. she *really* loves the cats. this is probably the beginning of an ongoing one-sided relationship, because she seems far more interested in them than they are in her, but even if she's crabby and exhausted, if she catches a glimpse of a cat, she starts to laugh. however, ben does like to nap next to her, and olivia will be tolerant of occasional staring contests. i don't know if it counts though, because bean giggles the whole time.


bean (7 months) vs. olivia, staring contest (if you look closely, you can see that beans fat little cheek is puckered with a smile)

she continues to increase in coordination and dexterity...her new thing is to remove her pacifier from her mouth and generously offer it to others. she's extremely tactile, and is especially fascinated by mouths, noses and lips, with some hair pulling for good measure. every moment you can see her making more connections with her toys and books. she loves her bedtime stories, particularly "touch the art" books she got from aunt linda and uncle steve. she likes to participate actively in the reading of these books, which mom and dad know well by heart since we read the same two at bedtime every night. she also has some ticklish spots on her tummy, which we enjoy exploiting as often as possible.

and speaking of bedtime, we've made some big changes there as well. bean slept next to us in her cosleeper until about a month ago. it was much easier to soothe her and feed her throughout the night without having to walk across the entire apartment. however, after the starvation/constipation/virus nightmare, she never really got back to sleeping as well as she had as a very young infant (retrospectively, these long periods without breastfeeding are likely what allowed for her little brother to come to be). while dad can comfortably zzzz the night away as bean tosses and turns, i was sleeping less and less flanked by senor snore on one side and miss whiney on the other.

bean prepping for chicago winter, 6 months


out on the town in her zebra coat, thanksgiving '10

toward the end of november, her sleep really took a turn for the worse. instead of falling asleep alone a few minutes after lights out as she always had, it started to take hours of crying. bean also appeared to be on hunger strike, and would wake up starving but refuse to eat. we first thought she was teething, but it lasted for weeks. fortunately, by this time i was on vacation, but it was still pissing me off. finally, the time had come to move bean to her own room. i was just too sensitive to every noise she made, even if she was asleep. i intended to do some research on sleep training with this transition, but it ended up not being necessary...like magic, bean slept magnificently the first night. i of course was up the whole time making sure the monitor was working, checking on her constantly, and just feeling sort of lonely, but after a week or so i too adjusted to sleeping without bean, and the two of us are both sleeping much better now. i think dad sleeps about the same as always.

working on tummy time, 5 months

we also discovered at this time that bottles have different sized nipples, and bean's "hunger strike" was actually an inability to get any milk out of the nipple anymore. now with her fastflow, big girl nipple, i think we're officially out of the woods! bean is sleeping, eating, and growing right on track. happily into the second trimester, on vacation, and also sleeping again at night, i have had much more energy to actually enjoy my time with bean instead of being constantly stressed about what's wrong with her at any given time. it's much easier to enjoy a nightfeeding and anticipate her waking up when i'm not listening to her whine all night (also, because her fat little face always has a big smile on it). we generally wake up together in the morning, have a nice bath, eat and play, then take a nap. when she wakes up from her nap, we play with her toys, watch cooking shows, go for walks, and fold laundry. we have a lot of fun together, and she's generally very indulgent and self sufficient, like playing happily while i write this lengthy blog.

bean folding clothes, 7 months


bean with nani, 7 months

obviously, our lives are 98% devoted to the bean. however, those aspects that once occupied more time and attention continue to plod along... i think david is about exactly halfway through his residency now, which is just flying by. he continues to really love his work despite the terrible hours (slightly less terrible this year!) and has had some neat opportunities that keep things interesting, like flying to martinique to escort an ill vacationer back to his home in london as his personal travel physician. he has had to sacrifice study time for bean time, but with football season coming to a close, he might have a little more wiggle room on his priority list.

bean with zeda, 6 months

right around thanksgiving, i officially concluded the classroom portion of nursing school (woohoo!). i have spent my six week break divided between hanging out with bean, completing a big chunk of my 132 "indirect hours" required for graduation wherein i do health related activities but no direct care, and studying for the practice boards i will take when i go back next week. rather than doing any targeted studying, i decided to just go ahead and read my whole 1200 page review book cover to cover, just to be able to say i did. shockingly, i'm only about 150 pages from that goal...let's just hope it prepared me adequately for the test, or i won't be allowed to graduate!

bean's first halloween, dr. bean

when i return next week, i begin my final 10 weeks in the program, called "immersion." this is like our mini-residency program, where we match to a certain area and get paired with a nurse preceptor who provides one on one instruction for a total of 228 hours. essentially, we are beginning nurses, except we pay to work. i am very happy about my placement in the cardiac intensive care unit for several reasons--i've gotten good exposure to floor nursing and feel ready to try on critical care for size, which i think is better suited to my personality and professional values. the patients are sicker, but fewer, and the nurses can thus be much more involved in the care, and command more respect from the interdisciplinary team. i really like the nurses on the unit, including my preceptor, so i'm looking forward to a very enriching and educational experience. i will be a different care provider 10 weeks from now, and that is very exciting!

mom and bean, xmas eve 2010


with dad and the xmas tree, 6.5 months

while i complete these clinical hours, i will also be working on a capstone project, the only remaining requirement for graduation. i have no idea yet what this project might be, but am hoping the idea pops into my head pretty soon. if all these things go according to plan, i get to tack "MSN" at the end of my name on march 18, and RN shortly thereafter, provided i pass the boards. unbelievable that time has gone so quickly.

bean, 6 months

other than that, we have kept busy preparing to host our first christmas, which was a huge success. now that we've had a taste of the staycation, it will be hard to convince us to travel during the holidays ever again, but you're always welcome to join us! my mom, mickey, and travis joined us here in chicago for a few days this past week--even david had a nice stretch off. my mom had a big birthday this year which we rolled into our christmas eve celebration--bean and i got to try out some of the indian cooking skills we've been practicing with the cooking network the past few weeks, and we finally got to break out the incredible tablecloth heidi (and ted) crocheted for us out of...a few miles of string? we have to get the exact stats on that. seriously, not exaggerating when i say "miles." bean and i also got to present my mom with the scrapbook we have been working on for her, which was a big success! thanks to all the contributors.

who knew 5 miles of string could be so beautiful!

bean and nani check out the scrapbook (ok, bean's checking out her toys)

after a day full of opening presents, jeannette prepared a delicious and slightly more traditional christmas dinner. she wrapped up her final chemo session almost two months ago now, and aside from the peach fuzz on her head, you'd really never have a clue she had any dustup so recently. she has so much energy (more than david and i combined) and positivity, it would be easy to overlook what a tremendous accomplishment she just achieved--few people finish a whole course of chemo, let alone without really acknowledging it's even happening. she got some dinky certificate from the hospital, but i really think she needs a tshirt that says "i kicked cancer's ass." we are so proud of her, and could ask for no better gift than for her health to be in such amazing condition. bravo!

christmas dinner at jeannette's

so, as 2010 comes to a close, we again find ourselves feeling very fortunate (and very tired!). life has been both very exciting and very busy since david and i met, and we have enjoyed the large strides we have taken in building our life together. we are very grateful for the continued love and support that pours in from our friends and family--we could not do it without you! and we are truly blessed every day to wake up to such a happy, healthy, delightful little bean who brings us more joy and laughter than we thought possible. we eagerly anticipate the arrival of her brother--he has big shoes to fill, but knowing now what's in store, we can't wait to see his own personality develop and for our two beans to grow up together.

mom, dad and bean on christmas night, 2010

wishing all of you a restful end to the holidays and a wonderful transition to 2011!

to weefehville and back.

so, ash and i had our only overlapping vacation of the year last week and decided to spend it taking eli [very lovingly aka bean, the bean, beantini, beanpot, stink, the stink, stinktini, stinkpot (this has morphed into pol pot on the few occasions when she’s paradoxically fussy), stinkbean, stinkbottom, big girl, chubby checker, and, lest we forget, mr potato head] on her first official ex-utero roadtrip (she was a mere blastocyst during our counterclockwise roadtrip around lake michigan one year ago..

----from last year, perhaps eli’s first pic

this trip took us as far south as asheville, nc and back in a quite scenic, circuitous route, stopping to visit friends and family along the way………

first stop was unfortunately very brief. the drive from chicago took us through the indiana heartland straight to bloomington, home of our friends yuri, jarrod and juni (yuri and ash roomed together during undergrad-- she and jarrod will be getting hitched next month-- juni’s their dog). the drive felt as though john cougar mellencamp was sitting next to the bean in the backseat, playing his guitar and singing proudly. pretty pink houses, white picket fences, etc. very quaint. in bloomington we spent a very pleasant evening consisting of drinks and thai food throughout the smallish college town with yuri and jarrod, who were generous enough to offer the three of us their spare bedroom that night.

jarrod and bean

yuri and bean

juni and bean

the actual overnight is a very funny (to us anyway) long story that involved africa-style heat, crashing venician blinds and a streetlight that might have actually been the sun’s brightest adult nephew. our hosts kindly cooked up a hearty breakfast the next morning and it was off to north carolina after a brief windshield survey of the town and the indiana university campus (by no means unattractive, but we do love our own college towns…). we look forward to yuri and jarrod’s big day in st louis in a few short weeks………..

google maps subsequently took us through kentucky (and along with that my first bob evans experience— i’d say the cheeseburger was not bad),

where every other exit was a race track or a retired thoroughbred stable of some sort; then through eastern tennessee, where football is clearly a way of life as evidenced by the fact that virtually every single AM radio station was a talk-show discussing a different local small college’s chances of taking the D3 title this year, etc; and finally into north carolina. driving into asheville from the east takes you smack through the great smoky mountains. we got dumped on with sheets of heavy rain throughout this portion of the drive but were totally blessed once we arrived with perfect sunny, dry weather for our visit with two solids: katie and mark whom we both know through the nutrition program at michigan.

katie and mark at the best wedding ever.

we knew that they lived at a boarding high school (katie works there), but we were not quite prepared for what we actually stumbled across—Asheville School (cost is $40K/yr) is on a gorgeous and huge complex with beautiful lawns, brick buildings, wooden cabins, forest/shade everywhere, and spectacular views of the surrounding national park mountains. i dunno why but after seeing it for the first time i felt like everyone on staff there (except katie of course) would look and dress like sherlock holmes and smoke a pipe. that turned out not to be the case.

asheville school

bean for a stroll on the sprawling campus

also, bean's first michigan game day

asheville is a town i’ve heard about for years as one that can be mentioned in the same breath with places like austin, berkeley, madison and ann arbor, except that it’s not a college town despite the presence of UNC asheville. clearly ash and i are both partial to these types of cities for their culture, food, community atmosphere, etc. our first visit downtown confirmed the prevailing diversity: rednecks, intellectuals, hippies, and several honest nutjobs sat next to each other all over the place. there’s quite a bit of… charm everywhere you look. one appropriate shirt read ‘if you’re too weird for asheville, you’re too weird.’ agreed, but we loved it. our last day there included an arts fest that i think pulled the weirdest of asheville from their dungeons—particularly that one thing we saw at the very end. here’s a shot of the bean’s first exposure to chicks on stilts:

during our stay there, stinkpot put on her little baby crampons, strapped her chinstrap under her 2^nd or 3^rd chin and summited her first peak, mt mitchell. happens to be the tallest peak east of the mississippi river, thank you very much, and she did so without the benefit of an oxygen tank. you may notice that she now rides in ash’s carrier face-forward (big girl), which is also how she now likes to be carried in general. i think she enjoys surveying her environment first hand.

on the climb

the summit

--------------------and the next day at the nc arboretum

asheville’s food is one of its main draws. with so many solid options, we’d’ve been hard pressed to imagine a situation in which we’d eat at the same place each of our three days, not to mention a situation in which we’d order the same dish each time. that was until we had the huevos rancheros at sunny point cafe. ashley: “it’s how Christ would make them.” well said. also pictured, the bacon wrapped scallop eggs benedict...

next stop: pinch, west virginia to spend some time at asif (ash’s uncle) and roshanna (aunt)’s beautiful home/property just outside of charleston. we were introduced to the state as we drove in by coalmines that were a bigtime eyesore against the backdrop of pretty stunning forest and rolling hills, although according to the numerous billboards in the area, they’re critical to the economy of the region. i just wonder why they can’t mine from the other side of the same hill so that we won’t hafta see it from the highway. prior to our pinch arrival we stopped for gas and to feed the stink. imagine our reaction when we saw a longhair, sleeveless T-shirt dude (who may have been 25, or just as likely may have been 55) putting a crippled elderly female into the bed of his pickup. just as casually as if he were loading a cooler or stack of 2x4s, he sat her up on the tailgate, scooted her backwards, laid her flat on her back, and closed the tailgate so that her feet draped over the edge. not sure how else to comment on the situation. we later discussed this with roshanna to get her take: “maybe that’s just how she travels.” remarkable.

pulling up into the private road heading towards the house we were greeted but stinkbean’s first deer sighting which i did my best to capture:

before we even got out of the car we were given a most gracious and warm welcome by perhaps the two worst guard dogs on the planet, daisy (labrador retriever) and arlo (great pyrenees), who were quite effusive in welcoming us into their home.

before we actually got to the door, however, i swear that some monstrosity of a sunuvab*tch mosquito managed somehow to land on my back, stick its proboscis through my shirt, penetrate my shoulder blade, and exit through my chest. it had to have been that big. itchier.

on the night we arrived, mr potato head and i watched our first football game together from start to finish as boise st took on virginia tech in an opening weekend classic. she seemed to be a natural-born fan as she sat there shirtless, gut hanging out over her diaper, and dropping the occasional farts here and there just for laughs. the only thing missing was the beer in each hand. she opened her eyes wide for her first ever blocked punt and squirmed in appreciation of the significance of a missed extra point to go up by only 5 instead of 6 midway through the 3^rd quarter.

for some reason i can’t explain, she fell sound asleep at the beginning of bsu’s game-winning drive at the end of the fourth quarter. actually, now that I think about it, perhaps arlo’s toxic fumes knocked stinkbottom completely out. the big white beast prevented anyone within a two-block radius from fully appreciating this drive’s significance with at least one silent-but-violent that will absolutely live in infamy. very impressive arlo—good boy.

our next two days in pinch were as relaxed as i’ve personally had in quite some time—can’t remember the last time i sat out in the sun for the sheer sake of sitting out in the sun. their property is forested and beautiful, and includes a swimming pool that allowed the bean her first taste of chlorinated water. couldn’t have come at a better time. during our last evening, asif and roshanna put together a meal we won’t soon forget: gazpacho appetizer followed by indian cuisine and general deliciousness. great stuff. we were sorry to leave.

bean with asif and roshanna

as the terrain out of WV became far flatter, the churches became far more frequent, and the land became far cornier, we knew we were quickly approaching central ohio. at this point ash brought up a bumper sticker she’d like to design: ‘honk if you like my driving.’ brilliant. we were fortunate enough to see our very good friend joanna at her work place for lunch—jo is a graphic designer at the headquarters of abercrombie and fitch, just outside of columbus. *that* place is sweet. the three of us got a tour of the place where next year’s status standards are in the process of being created—it apparently takes quite a bit of effort to go from concept to the showroom floor. lunch at their cafeteria was awesome; the company even better.

-------------------the music was loud in that place.

last stop was west bloomfield to allow beantini to spend some quality time with her nani and zeda-upcha, who are obviously at least as infatuated with the big girl as anyone else in the family—makes me smile watching samina gawk on the floor cuz she can’t wait for the bean to get taken out of her carseat:

we returned home and delivered the bean, approx 7% older than when she left, to grandma back here in chicago. grandma was thrilled to have stinkpot back in her arms, among other reasons so that she could continue with her daily spanish lessons. coincidentally, joanna’s parents jim and deena had been visiting my mom in chicago, so we got to say hello for a couple of days before they went back to pennsylvania.

bean with grandma

bean with deena

the four of us already miss them and are looking forward to a state college reunion on some penn st gameday in the near future……

on a bit of a tangent, eli most definitely been developing physically and cognitively over the past several weeks. i ran through a practice medicine test recently-- one of the questions asked what the normal length of time is for an infant to double their birth weight. i was off from the correct answer by a full two months cuz my guess was based on my first-hand experience with chubby checker (correct answer is 20-22 weeks). big girl. ash is definitely getting things done boobwise. actually, the bean now has a dietary complement to her milk: 1mL of vitamins daily. while clearly she is still trying to figure out what the f*kk is going on when that sh*t gets squirted into her mouth, she has lately been doing a much better job of actually swallowing. stink.

also, over the past couple of weeks she has definitely been paying close attention to her hands and appreciating that they are not only attached to her body, but also seem to have some functions that may end up coming in pretty handy at some point. she started with the hand clasp, then appeared to truly contemplate the fact that she could grab on to one finger with the other hand, and just last night for the first time (that i’ve seen) seemed to make a significant effort to deliberately grab her toy dragon and bring it to her mouth. beantini.

she makes us so happy every minute she’s awake. she has a whole-body smile where she opens her mouth wide, cocks her head to the side, flexes her hips, and gives a double fist pump that will make anyone forget about any negativity they may have experienced during any stressful day. her smile is constant and totally infectious. we are so in love with her. even just watching her as she’s falling asleep—as she looks into your eyes and slowly loses the battle to longer and longer blinks… she’s the best. ash has very understandably said that the stink is so cute it makes you just wanna kill her, but not so that she’ll, like, actually be dead.

unfortunately, because of my schedule, i’m not able to spend nearly as much time at home as i’d like. clearly, among the best things about this break is that it’s given me a real chance to spend a lot of quality time with the bean, which is wonderful. what is at least equally as wonderful though is the mother/daughter interaction i’ve been able to fully appreciate for the first time at length… ash is exactly the kind of mother that all who know her would think she’d be. it’s so easy to watch how effortlessly she is able to realize exactly what the little stinkpot needs at every moment, and to see how loved she is in return by our little girl. it’s so reassuring to know that eli will be in such genuinely good, loving and capable hands for such a long time… it makes me happy.