a "real" doctor.

this past week, david had his formal graduation from residency, a ceremonial event more to mark the end of surviving the past three years than anything, but it's a common misconception that now david is a "real" doctor.  i think this frustrates him somewhat since he was a "real" doctor three years ago when he graduated medical school, but now the general public perceives him as a "real" doctor as well.

we truly celebrated this occasion in an elaborate way we don't usually indulge in with our practical, frill-less lifestyle, but this really was the time to pull out all the stops if ever there was one.  not only to recognize david's great accomplishment, but to acknowledge all of the impressive achievements and milestones that have marked our time in chicago.  my parents very generously and thoughtfully took planning into their own hands (since the extent of my planning these days is about 4 hours ahead) and coordinated a unique, fun, kid-friendly weekend for the family.

we kicked things off with david's graduation dinner.  it was a great opportunity to get his class together, meet spouses and families and colleagues, and wish all 17 of them luck in their next steps.

the next day, we were surprised with a private trip down the chicago river.  the four of us, along with my parents, jeannette, uncle eric, aunt emmy, and the kaczanders enjoyed a very leisurely (aside from hitting a tree) meander through this breathtaking city over a picnic lunch.  the kids took well to the water--reese passed out immediately and bean learned quickly to stay in the fresh air watching the horizon to develop fast sea legs.  thanks to eric's narration, we were able to appreciate the lovely architecture and skyline we've come to know as home.  we will miss it.

after recovering somewhat from all our boating excitement, we finally, after three years, popped the cork on a bottle of dom perignon we received as a wedding gift.  so many times we've had appropriate occasions, but we decided on this day not only for its own merit, but also because it really signifies the end of an era full of excitement and celebration.

we followed up with dinner at one of our favorite family destinations, mythos in ravenswood.  wonderful, authentic greek food, friendly staff.  we have many happy memories there.  we wrapped things up with a memorable father's day brunch.  what a great final family weekend in chicago!

other than that, we have continued to ignore our impending move, in spite of severely reducing the number of days we have to pack and prepare by planning a last minute trip out to west virginia for a good old fashioned fourth of july family reunion.  the kids don't even have a week left in chicago.  i can't believe it.

and speaking of the two stinkers...these two are really something.  recently, i spent a whole week home with them by myself.  that's very rare; usually time off is punctuated by work days or visitors.  but we had a week long staycation that was really wonderful.  day after day just hanging out, going to the beach and park, visiting with friends...without the interruptions of going back to work, i had time to catch up on sleep, laundry and cleaning, and to finish a big knitting project.  i felt like the master of my own destiny.  like a real grownup, responsible to nobody but myself.  it was *awesome.*

 

reese is standing a little more every day and even taking a step or two here and there.  the other day i told him to stand up and throw me the ball, and he did.  very impressive.  he's also getting more possessive of his toys.  while bean is pretty good about rolling over and letting him play with anything to prevent a tantrum, sometimes we have a very angry little boy on our hands.

bean barely made it a week past her 2nd birthday before showing us all how terrible those twos can be. i used to think she said no to everything.  i don't know why i thought that, because now she actually says no to everything, very forcefully.  when we have time for her to exercise her impressively broad and assertive defiance, it's not so bad.  however, when we have a time crunch, it often leads to tantrums when she's forced to do things she feels compelled to say no to and doesn't have the required few minutes to say yes on her terms.  then we have a problem.  for months we've been happily changing diapers, brushing teeth, sitting on the potty, we even have songs for these fun activities.  it starts with the reflexive "no," and on further suggestion turns into a red faced, jugular popping roar of a word that's some derivitave of  "I SAID NO DAMMIT" that i can't quite understand. 

she's also doing more climbing and destroying...it's just about time to get out of our little apartment and get these kids some real space.  she keeps getting more clever...the other day she put a raspberry on her finger and said "look daddy, finger hat."  she pointed to a picture of the skyline and said, "chicago."

                                      

                                               bean, go lie next to your brother.

other than that, we're trying to enjoy chicago as much as we can while still working long hours and minding the tyrants.  this week was free admission at the shedd aquarium, which is about the only way to enjoy it with our kids at their current ages.  we said goodbye to our favorite exhibits.  david continues to appreciate the water view of the city, joining some friends on a sailing outing on lake michigan.  fortunately, there were no collisions.

house is plugging along according to schedule...floors and counters are in and our yard has grass.  our kids almost have a yard!

we are exactly one short week from david's true end of residency; i myself have three shifts left.  we have a good balance of work and play planned after that...we'll let you know what we're up to.

the countdown begins.

our stroller is stocked with plastic buckets and shovels, bubbles and sidewalk chalk, the kids' feet developing their first sandal tans and their skin sweet with the smell of sunscreen and sweat.  somehow we have stumbled into summer...hard to believe the days are already about to start getting shorter again.

we blazed through the end of may and all the celebrations it brings our family with many happy new memories and only a few minor disasters.  there was, of course, bean's second birthday, which was celebrated over a long weekend with all manner of visitors, balloons, presents, pictures and excitement merited by such an occasion.

aside from temperatures soaring into the high 90s with heat rising off the pavement that actually partially cooked the kids in the stroller (note the potato chips to replace their sodium levels)

and this small tragedy

things more or less went off without a hitch.  bean has overcome her major phobia of balloons (above pictured balloon massacre was her brother's doing)

and this year while grownups enjoyed quinoa taboule and walnut lemon hummus, bean was treated to chocolate coconut cupcakes with strawberry buttercream frosting.  it's possible the grownups snuck a few of those as well.

all in all, a success.

the last day of may we celebrated our anniversary for the first time since we got married.  by a stroke of luck i got to leave work a few hours early and david didn't need to be in until 11pm, just enough time to squeeze in one of these at our favorite restaurant.  sure beats taking care of a newborn, which is how we traditionally celebrate.

all of our other attention has been increasingly focused on our imminent departure from chicago, which is beginning to feel as real as these huge junctures can before they actually take place.  all of a sudden instead of putting duck after duck in a row to make sure all goes smoothly with our construction project clear across the country, major details of our departure have begun to fall into place.  moving company?   check.  car transporters?  check.  moving date?  check.  one way tickets to california?  eek!  check.  i have purchased perishable goods that expire after we will already be gone.  i have my new work schedule and i eerily just fall off of it without a trace at the end of june, like i was never even there.

this has gone from a playful suggestion, an internet search or two, to a real life overhaul.  while we've enjoyed watching our house go from a square of dirt to something with walls, cabinets, a banister, now even a yard, and a chandelier, it's not something we can yet touch and feel.  but each detail that comes together on this end somehow makes it tangible.  sort of.

this all makes me very anxious.  people scoff at me when i say that i don't handle change well given the nature of the last few years of my life.  trust me, i had to quickly develop a roll with the punches attitude in order to survive.  they say the first year of marriage is the most difficult, but i wonder if, ironically, squeezing my first interstate move, a career change, graduate school, residency, pregnancy and a baby into the first year allowed our relationship to become stronger and more durable.  we've had literally no time to nitpick each other, and have instead clung to each other for dear life.  our marriage has worked well in survival mode.

but i don't.  handle change well, that is.  i'm a mammal, so if that change requires nurturing my offspring so they can survive, sure, i'll adapt.  but what separates us from dogs and elephants and even chimpanzees is our emotion, and saying goodbye gets harder the older i get.  i've done it enough times now to know that even the people you love the most, the people you PROMISE to stay in touch with, the people you just can't imagine living without, you do.  time is not selective for lessening what is painful.  it also lessens what is good.  there are some of course for whom distance physically and emotionally doesn't seem to matter--you pick up fine right where you left off.  that seems to apply to blood relatives and friends you had in high school.  but what about the rest of them?

what about all of these friends we have made?  david entered his program knowing his group would splinter, all of them transient, ready after three years to go back home or try something new.  but, as much as i've dug my heels in about my disdain for life in chicago and my eagerness to leave, in spite of myself, i have acquired some very special friends who it breaks my heart to leave.  friends who will attend birthing classes with me when my husband can't.  friends who will drive from all corners of this city just to sit in my apartment and play with my kids.  friends who will drag me through a half marathon.  friends who will babysit free of charge.  friends who will put books in my locker they think i'd like to read.  friends who will come into work early, stay late, or switch shifts to make my life easier.  friends who will accommodate this very lifestyle i've less than appreciated in chicago, making things not just bearable, but fun.  

and what about the one who's about to have a baby?  and the one who's newly pregnant?  or my sister who lives 4 miles away, or my best childhood friend who just moved in next to my sister?  and all the engagements and weddings and babies and promotions and milestones i will miss in what feels now like a ramshackle whirlwind, but i know once i've gone will be remembered much more as the start of a real life with real roots that ache to sever.  but we're leaving, and that's that.  

the kids, of course, have no idea what's around the corner.  perhaps they'll begin to catch on when we start packing, but i don't see that happening in the next few weeks as a result of my disdain for packing, lack of time, and refusal to believe we actually will ship all of our belongings on july 9th.  get in line behind laundry and dishes, packing.  i'll be over here knitting.

we've all been enjoying the warmer weather, which allows us to get out of the house once a day on most days.  reese is standing up on his own a little more each day...we're probably just a few weeks now from walking.  the other morning he said "ASH-LEY" clear as a bell and then immediately went back to babbling unintelligibly.  it was bizarre and comical.  he continues to be impossibly cuddly and delicious.

bean, on the other hand, is somehow getting simultaneously more affectionate and thoughtful as she gets more ornery and defiant.  this makes her more fun and at the same time more difficult to be around.  she's starting to catch on that if she doesn't want to do something, it's relatively difficult for me to make her do it.  she thinks that's funny.  she smirks at me.  she no longer suggests, but instructs us on where to sit, what to read, and delegates instrumentation in our family band.  as a result, reese is becoming very proficient at the kazoo.  but she also loves me, everyone, with a fierce passion that increases by the day.  i guess the two have to line up or humans too would eat their young.

"bean, it's time to take a nap."

NO.  reesey do THIS one.

next week we've got david's graduation from residency (though he'll continue to work for two weeks after), father's day, and then wrapping up life in chicago will really take off.  we'll check in.