she's probably 2x larger now.
in addition to a beautiful hand made blanket, hat, and bear for the bean, she also sought out my favorite tea (and i know from good tea) in these satchets that are almost too pretty to drink (almost), along with a handcrafted elephant tea pot (we love elephants!), a purchase which provided food for a number of shelter dogs. ?!?!? are you kidding me?! it's like she breathed life into our recent ann arbor blog. between that and the zingermans care package courtesy the whitefield family, it's like i died and went to ann arbor...providing some much needed comfort and familiarity in the first two crazy weeks of parenthood. this gift was just totally over the top--more thoughtful and better executed than a marriage proposal, and really deserving of public thanks. so thank you, aunt heidi!
some of our homemade presents.
indeed, it turns out having a baby is almost as great as getting married in terms of loot. we have been totally overwhelmed and moved by the outpouring of thoughtfulness from friends and family. the best part about it is the lack of registry...it has been a lot of fun to see how creative everybody is with their gifting. of course, we really love all the homemade gifts...who knew we had such talented loved ones?! makes me wonder what happened to david and i, both products of very manually skilled gene pools, yet unable to between the two of us to even follow instructions of how to assemble things. we're hoping it skips a generation so that eli can do all of our home repairs, and plan to send her to camp higgs in pultneyville starting at an early age so she can learn vital skills we're lacking, like plumbing, roofing, and cabinetry. throughout the course of her life, she'll hopefully completely renovate whatever house we're living in.
so beautiful! 8 days old.
in any event, thank you to everyone for the gifts! we love them all!
now, onto life with eli in the first month or so of her ex-utero existence. i can't believe how fast time has flown, and how much she's growing and changing every day. hence, i felt it necessary to throw down a blog before she's getting ready to start high school. we always knew that life would change in ways impossible to conceive of without ever having children of our own, and like most parents, we were unable to prepare after a certain point for just how different it really would be. to begin, it's a big transition to go from being pregnant for 9 months to being unpregnant in a few seconds. there are things i will definitely miss (always being warm instead of freezing, long nails and thick hair for the first time in my life, guaranteed seats on public transit even during rush hour, quality time with my cats, and everyone telling me i look great simply because they can differentiate between my calves and ankles) and things i'm thrilled are back to baseline (drinking as much fluid as i want without needing to know every toilet within a 5 mile radius, eating anything, even if it's been sitting out or came from a buffet, being able to see my feet when i look down). but of course, the best part about this transition has been meeting and getting to know our little bean (that moniker has stuck, by the way).
tummy time with daddy.
diaper and wardrobe change at the zoo.
people often joke that babies don't come with an instruction manual. for david and i, that may be a good thing, as when we try to follow these instructions, things never seem to go right (our first attempt to use the stroller and both the back wheels fell off--my fault, but the next two attempts were thwarted by a lack of proper tools, until we finally completed assembly on the side of the road with a rock and a metal waterbottle...at least we're resourceful). however, we have been making notes here and there of good things to keep in mind, like, if there isn't pee AND doody when you open the dirty diaper, WAIT, or you will get covered in whatever's missing. also, don't check the diaper until after she eats, which appears to stimulate a serious gastrocolic reflex. she loves to have her hair washed and to be in her bathtub (like her mom), and riding in the car or sitting in her baby bjorn carrier puts her right to sleep. i never planned to give her a pacifier or put her in a swing, but thank god some wise friends of ours with parenting experience sent these items as gifts, as they are the most effective one-two punch at getting her to chill out (and giving our arms and my nipples a much needed rest).
the sound of silence.
this makes bathtime worth it.
most new parents seem to think the first two weeks are pretty horrible, followed by a marked improvement at six weeks, and then a legitimate light at the end of the tunnel at three months. in many ways, the first two weeks with eli were very easy. she was apparently in some kind of newborn stupor, and ate-doodied-slept in very predictable three hour cycles. and she NEVER cried. i would hear an adorable little baby bird noise in the middle of the night when she was hungry, and that was it. she slept the better part of every 24 hours, leaving me plenty of time to cook, clean, and do laundry. seriously, our apartment was never cleaner. this parenting thing is a cinch, i thought to myself.
yes, she really sleeps like this.
then one day, approximately 1.5 weeks into her life, we were laying in bed reading about children with endocrine dysfunction in preparation for the final exam i missed, and she started to cry. and to scream. and could not be consoled for several hours. i thought it was the studying, which also makes me want to scream and cry, but a similar episode occurred that evening, and then every evening since with the exception of two (and maybe three, if tonight continues to go well).
given that she remains very relaxed and quiet during the day, she continues to eat well and gain weight, my diagnosis of exclusion is that we've got ourselves a colicky baby. large bummer. and while it's pretty awful for your baby to scream for 4-6 hours every night, appear to be in tremendous pain, and to be completely powerless to help, like much of early parenting, a lot of the coping is a mental game. i think once we accepted that she's going to scream like that and our inability to console her does not make us incompetent parents, a lot of the frustration subsided, which makes it much easier to do what we can. similar to labor, different techniques can somewhat pacify her at different times, so every evening is an exercise in creativity and patience as we hand her back and forth, bouncing and patting her in all different positions. hopefully it's a soon-passing phase, and in the long run, we can't complain much as she remains perfectly healthy and despite short term discomfort, won't sustain any permanent damage. except maybe to her hearing. she is LOUD.
my little cupcake.
so, colic sucks for everyone (mostly eli). but, even with the onset of regular screaming fits, a lot did get easier after the first two weeks. i chalk this up to simply getting more comfortable and with each day, getting to know eli better as she begins to develop a personality. despite almost being a nurse and david being a doctor, the first several nights sleeping with a newborn next to me, i was petrified she would die in her sleep. numerous times a night, i would reach over (she sleeps in a three sided crib flush with our bed) to check her respiration rate and palpate her peripheral pulses. if she coughed, i would immediately roll her onto her side and prepare to perform suction and cpr. does not make for a great night of sleep. but after a few weeks, a combination of seeing her puke a few times without consequence and probably the exhaustion finally catching up has allowed me to adjust to the weird broken up sleep and actually feel pretty rested during the day, which is nice.
bean cooking with mom
out on the town in her bjorn
it absolutely does not come as a surprise to me that a child stewing in my juices for 9 months seems to be developing a bit of sass as she evolves into herself. there's no question she phenotypically is her dad...we've recognized plenty of higgs and eljaiek in her features and mannerisms, but so far, no rahman and definitely no hurst. she's starting to belch, fart, and snore in ways that really make her dad proud, and her little baby bird noises have segued into grunts and squeaks that more resemble what a baby dinosaur might've sounded like (i don't know why, but for some reason i picture a triceratops). her eyes have become brighter, and her cheeks much fatter.
maybe 5 days old here. she's saying she's hungry.
most recent picture, 3.5 weeks old
but in addition to these physical changes, her emotional changes suggest that in some ways, she does take after her mom (read, sassy). she used to sleep like a rock anywhere in the apartment reliably for 3 hours at a time, went to bed very easily, and slept there until we were ready to get up in the morning. now just when i think i've gotten her to sleep and try to shower, if she opens her eyes and sees she's alone, she will scream at the top of her lungs until somebody is within her peripheral vision (which is about all of 14 inches right now). on nights she has colic episodes, she won't go to sleep unless she's in the big girl bed getting patted and having her pacifier replaced ever 3 seconds she spits it out (pacifier, one of the genius items that has made these episodes bearable). she sleeps great in her bed at night, but after 6am, if we try to put her back, she will kick and scream until she is placed yet again in our bed between us. the moment she hits our mattress, the screaming stops and she goes totally unconscious. some of you may debate this, but as she has discovered her arms and legs, there is a lot of hitting and kicking going on that i swear seems intentional, and she recently projectile pooped all over david and our white comforter at 4am, i swear, with a large smile on her face. but to be fair, for much of the day she's very docile and sweet. again, like her mom.
big girl bed with mom--she likes to hold hands to fall back asleep
big girl bed with dad...i walked in on this, it was not posed.
she's well behaved enough during daylight hours that we've actually been able to introduce her to much of chicago's best. she has had a few trips to the u of c campus, some walks by the lakeshore, a long trip to the zoo, and her first lebanese and vietnamese cuisine. now that she's big enough to fit into her carrier, she comes with me to run errands around the neighborhood as well. a few days ago i went into school to take the final exam i missed, and since we haven't given her a bottle yet, she and her dad joined me (so she could eat whenever she got hungry) and met many of my teachers, which was a lot of fun. after my official end to the spring quarter, we celebrated with outdoor pizza and beer.
bean's first tiger
lincoln park lily pond
bean's first pho (so good), 1.5 weeks old
actually, tomorrow will be my first day away from her, and david's first day as a single parent. he's very excited--i'm totally mortified. the longest i have gone without seeing eli was the 40 minutes i took my final, and she was 10 feet away from me in the next room. tomorrow will be a full EIGHT HOURS. i have prepared david for the possibility that he needs to drive her to me during my lunch break. i spent much of this weekend getting friendly with my breast pump (that i'm kind of obsessed with and as a result in two days have pumped i think about four gallons of milk), so they have a big day tomorrow of introducing eli to the bottle among whatever other adventures her dad has in store (he says it's a secret, despite demanding that i send him frequent email updates and pages about everything she does while *he's* at work).
hanging by the lakeshore
bean's first picnic, u of c, one week old.
so, it's definitely the start of a new era! in just a few days, eli will be a month old. i go back to school tomorrow, but will fortunately only be out of the house on two days and for a total of 12 hours...which still seems like a lot. i will really miss her, but i'm happy not to be falling behind in school, and i think it will be good for my mental health to do something besides breastfeed most hours of the day (although, i've taken to reading news magazines while i feed her to help pass the time). i can't believe she's going to start taking a bottle, but that might mean david can take over some of the nighttime care, which would be nice on days i have to be out of the house early or take an exam. grandma jeannette officially becomes a midwesterner in just over a week now (and thus we are about to switch over from all english to mostly spanish language); eli and i have been hard at work reading backed issues of bon appetite (i was so sick in the first trimester i could not even read about food) to plan an appropriate welcoming/first mirthday party menu.
bean showing off her 'tude
we have almost made it through the first month! not free of challenges, but on the whole, actually not so bad, and definitely full of learning and a lot of laughter and smiles. life has been made much easier by all of the support we get from friends and family, as well as a few astute purchases that it's really too bad all parents can't benefit from (cosleeper=never leaving your bed at night and hence, everyone sleeping better. swing=a break from constant manual rocking and bouncing. pacifier=quiet and rest for battered nipples). the cats, though definitely neglected, seem to have adjusted pretty well to their little sister and have done an impressive job respecting boundaries and behaving themselves without much direction from us.
so hip
aside from the two days post birth, david has been back to his regular schedule. while that doesn't leave the optimal amount of time for him to hang out with eli or for us to spend time together, i can't imagine doing this without him. he is such a patient, doting, fun and loving dad. eli and i both love it when he comes home and i can hand her over to him for awhile...seems no matter how exhausted he is or what happened during his shift, he totally lights up when he sees her and forgets about everything else. it's really something special to watch. while we always speculated our complimentary personalities would be ideal for parenting as they are for marriage, it's pretty great to see that in action.
bean's first mohawk, 3 weeks old
more to come...and i think it's officially the third night in the past 2.5 weeks with no screaming!
