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| dad, mom, bean and reese in michigan, october 30, 2011 |
this half written at the start of october:
a chill has been creeping into chicago over the last several weeks; we looked outside the window today and saw that the leaves have lost most of their green, just as chief's eyes have lost most of their blue, boats are leaving the marina...everything is preparing for fall. i thought we took our last trip to the beach at northerly island, a favorite family outing, almost a month ago. but today brought what's got to be the midwest's last ditch effort at summer, one more 80 degree day, so we dipped our toes in lake michigan one last time before the deep freeze really sets in. apparently this winter is slated to be a doozy.
we're starting to get into a good routine here, in spite of all the change. both kids are overlapping in a wonderful phase right now. bean continues to get more mature by the minute and is embarking on so many fantastic milestones. she has become a lot more verbal, pointing repeatedly at everything in our apartment and in her books, on walks, everywhere she goes making us repeat over and over names of things, which she then offers her own interpretation of. most of her words do sound the same, but david swears the other morning when greeting her little animal window stickers (as we do each morning and night) she said "koala" clear as day. one thing she certainly communicates clearly is thirst, screaming AGUA! AGUA! many times during the day, and then drink like she just staggered out of the desert. not surprisingly, she's also pretty proficient at "NO!"
she is curious, giggly, goofy and happy. she is eating well, and her sleep is *finally* working itself out. for a few weeks now she's been sleeping 12 straight hours, praise JESUS. she has mostly phased out her afternoon
nap, but takes a pretty long one right in the middle of the day without any fuss, and is in a happy mood when she's awake. her unadulterated love for her brother continues to grow each day, showering him in hugs and kisses. tonight i found her feeding him from her water cup (yikes), and most evenings after dinner the two of them have some sort of comedy routine wherein they are howling with laughter. i mean, really laughing uncontrollably. every time i try to join in the fun though, i feel like i'm crashing the party. i guess it's an inside joke.
in true bean fashion, certain text books would infer that she is a little late getting around to walking unassisted. however, like her other milestones, this is not a result of physical inability. after months of cruising between pieces of furniture, at the ripe old age of 16 months, bean is just taking her first steps solo, because bean will walk just like bean does everything else: whenever she damn well pleases. i expect that she will be picking up speed now as she seems to really enjoy it...but not when you try to help her, of course. bean likes to do things on her terms.
reese is also growing up so fast...we are always sorting through the clothes they grow out of, and in the most recent parceling, we officially retired the miracle blanket. i can't believe it. pretty soon we aren't going to have babies anymore! yes, reese has been weaned successfully from his swaddle, which seemed to have no effect on him whatsoever starting night one. hopefully he will continue to diverge from his sister's sleep history. he is chortling professionally now, and finds his sister to be absolutely hilarious.
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| our last trip to the beach |
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| the start of football season |
perhaps the most exciting new development is his stroller behavior...FINALLY, like most babies, reese now enjoys the stroller. no screaming on walks for about two weeks. which means, both kids can come on runs with me! we took our first run as a threesome last week and he gurgled and smiled the whole time, barfed on himself once, and then fell asleep. perfect. he's also big enough to breastfeed unsupported, which means i have two free hands, which means i can KNIT while feeding him...this was mom urban legend to me until just a week or two ago. my dear friend
alyssa told me this was possible, but i never knew this joy until recently, and right in time for hat season to start again!
work is going well...i'm getting used to the flow of the evening shift, and if i didn't have young kids it would be ideal. unfortunately, even when i get out on time i'm not in bed until 1am, which doesn't make for much sleep before the day starts again. however, it's nice to be settling in, getting to know the patients, the doctors, my coworkers, etc. i'm definitely gaining confidence and fluidity, although there is plenty to learn every shift. nursing is similar to parenting in a lot of ways...a lot of cleaning and feeding and nurturing. working this shift, i even tuck my patients in at night.
however, work and kids and knitting and pumping aside, i felt i wasn't quite busy enough. and so, i finally put my nose to the grind on starting up a
food blog i've been developing in my mind for about 5 years. we are having a lot of fun with that, but whew, it is a lot of work! so, days are very satisfying but also somewhat stressful, and there aren't even close to enough hours. i find myself on days off going to bed almost as late as those days i work, because it's only after the kids go to bed around 8:30 that i really have time to get anything done for our house or on my various projects, and that's only half the days of the week.
tonight as we were completing our bedtime ritual, i found myself getting very excited because in mere moments i'd be able to do the dishes, check my email, and knit...and then i got even more excited when i decided i'd check email first, do dishes last. and then i laughed at myself and the sheer ridiculousness of that whole internal monologue. the luxury of doing dishes without bean pitching a fit because she can't see what's going on makes doing dishes a relaxing pastime. it's difficult to explain or even really grasp just how much your life changes with little ones around, every second, every decision, every action, every step, every breath is dictated 100% by what the kids are doing, what they need, what they will need shortly, their mood, what their mood will be shortly... but i really love them, and i love being a mom. they are just awesome. and i love nursing, and i love knitting and blogging and cooking, and blogging about being a mom and a nurse and knitting and cooking. so while very busy, overall, life is very fulfilling these days.
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| bean sharing her agua |
now, instead of offering my generic two sentences about david's status, he has generously offered to guest author a part of this blog entry. and so, i turn it over to him!
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this half written at the end of october:
to reiterate, bean is now sleeping through the night, guaranteeing us between 11 and 13 uninterrupted hours of nightly freedom and rest. that development is hands down the largest quality of life improvement since my cousin ted figured out that all we have to do to keep our ultra-sensitive smoke alarm from bursting our ear drums on a twice-weekly basis is to cover it with saran wrap and a rubber band. cannot stress it enough: bean is now sleeping through the night. there is a lord jesus.
it's interchangeably interesting, frustrating and truly mind boggling how quickly life has continued to move forward in a constant blur over the past ten years while i remain mostly oblivious in my own little bubble of work and study. eight years ago feels like two years ago, and seven months ago seems like last week. little babies of friends and relatives whom i feel i just met and whom i figured would barely be talking are now approaching middle school, and out of nowhere i apparently have two kids who are leaving milestones in their wake on a daily basis.
as consuming as my work has been, i continue to absolutely love it. four months into my third and final year of residency, i'm now far less than one year from having my name
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| reese with two nanis |
at the very bottom of the chart of every patient i see in the ER and ultimately being fully responsible for their well-being. while there is still some healthy angst at this thought, i'm finding myself more confident every shift that everything is going to be okay. while i'd rather, as a patient, walk into a more senior physician's room initially, i feel that my training will have prepared me to at the very least be confident with whatever ailment presents itself. i'm also comfortable knowing that i will make some mistakes early in my career-- something young doctors just need to come to terms with. overall, however, very exciting.
along those lines, my interview trip several months ago (has it been that long ago already?! seriously.) to sacramento appears to have been a success. it is now very likely that our goal of moving to davis, california will become a reality. in a very fortunate and flattering series of events, three job interviews quickly became three preliminary job offers, and i found myself in the enviable dilemma of choosing between some very attractive opportunities. after the first was weeded out, the ultimate decision came between working fewer hours for more slightly more pay (although the pay could fluctuate depending on the economy, which as we all know blows goats at the moment, especially in northern california), versus working at a job that would include teaching residents from UC Davis (a pretty sharp group) and thus having the opportunity to work on "whatever project or projects you would like to develop" to further the program. to me, an as-of-yet undetermined project in a foreign country (costa rica has an uncanny ability to strike my fancy) seems exceptionally appealing. fortunately, any decision on a job is not a life-sentence and i
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hayride with nani and zuzu (david and i can't confirm, but allegedly
bean selected this outfit for herself at the store). |
think i have maintained a healthy relationship with the other two, but for the time being i've expressed a very serious interest in the residency position. this would be at the kaiser permanente facility located in south-sacramento. i had a chance to meet a good chunk of what would my colleagues and was 105% impressed. i feel like i would fit right in and hope to end up doing so. as i type here, i'm told that the contract is in the mail--it's looking very promising. fingers crossed that it all works out the way we hope. ash and i canNOT wait to settle down, hopefully (and finally) for good. at what will be age 37 (for me anyway), that day can't come too soon......
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| bean and her rig |
many of my (mostly guy) friends have asked me what it's like having kids. the fact is that having one (and especially two) kids has its predictable challenges. as cute and generally well-mannered as our little stinks are, it's often hard to come home from a full-time (plus) job to a second full-time (plus) job. any alone-time is at a minimum. our schedule is 100% handcuffed by their nap times (hard to emphasize this enough). both kids asleep at the same time creates an anxiety of sorts because there is so much that needs to get done and we never know how many minutes we might have to do any of it (clean the kitchen, cook, read, catch up on sleep, spend time with each other, cook, etc etc). even just checking email is a real challenge for whomever is home and alone with them. i've concluded that the best mindset is that having children is a sacrifice with the hope that the kid(s) will follow the more-than-likely path towards making that sacrifice an ultimately rewarding one. thus far, very very rewarding. that being said, i found myself relating all too well with a stand up comic who recently described how he got to fully appreciate every single peaceful second that he had outside of his kids' impressively tight circle of influence. like the time he takes to walk around his car after he's closed the kids in the back seat and before he's gotten into the driver's seat: "that's straight up just heaven right there." that kinda thing resonates.
specifically with respect to our kids: in spite of the moments of frustration (i'm lookin at you stinky), there is no question that they have been wonderful treasures, enriching our lives in very powerful ways. bean has been on a grade-A streak of goodness-- her smile combined with one of her kisses has the power to immediately make anyone forgive and forget whatever stinkiness may have preceeded it over the past two hours. while she's not quite yet verbalizing in any meaningful way, she is now at a point where her receptive vocabulary (in two languages) is blossoming by the minute. she's becoming more and more comfortable on two feet and now staggers all over the apartment, a development that is both exciting, super cute and also a little scary as we anticipate her next impressive fall. chief has yet to have his first bad streak. this kid's the sh*t. he only cries when he's hungry, which i find 100% reasonable. he laughs hardest when he's playing with his big sister and is already rolling all over the floor and loving his jumper. my impression is that because he's so enamored with eli, he'll be hitting his physical milestones sooner just because he's so interested in keeping up with her. i really, really love my kids.
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| rahman mini reunion! |
....of course, having kids would be nearly impossibly more difficult without help. this is critical. ashley has become the primary caregiver to my kids that i have always hoped i'd have. she's perfectly warm, patient, caring and enthusiastic-- this in spite of her own work outside of the house. she definitely bears the brunt of much of the sacrifice at home without so much as a pout. she has thus far managed, in part, by developing distracting hobbies that are compatible with having small children: knitting and blogging (her new food blog is awesome-- and i get to try all the good stuff). she's amazing.
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story time
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...and, of course, my mom, who lives two floors above us. thankfully, her physical health is back to 100%, and her mental health seemed to never waiver for a second. not sure how we would do this without her help. she loves these kids every bit as much as anyone and can't wait until the next morning when she'll again be on duty while we're out of the house. she hits them with spanish constantly and nurtures them in a way only a family member could. i love my mom. we are so grateful to her and are looking forward to her moving with us back to davis and living close enough that the kid handoff will be almost as seamless......
i love chicago. but have i mentioned i can't wait to get myself and my family back to california? soon enough.
a chill has been creeping into chicago over the last several weeks; we looked outside the window today and saw that the leaves have lost most of their green, just as chief's eyes have lost most of their blue, boats are leaving the marina...everything is preparing for fall. i thought we took our last trip to the beach at northerly island, a favorite family outing, almost a month ago. but today brought what's got to be the midwest's last ditch effort at summer, one more 80 degree day, so we dipped our toes in lake michigan one last time before the deep freeze really sets in. apparently this winter is slated to be a doozy.
we're starting to get into a good routine here, in spite of all the change. both kids are overlapping in a wonderful phase right now. bean continues to get more mature by the minute and is embarking on so many fantastic milestones. she has become a lot more verbal, pointing repeatedly at everything in our apartment and in her books, on walks, everywhere she goes making us repeat over and over names of things, which she then offers her own interpretation of. most of her words do sound the same, but david swears the other morning when greeting her little animal window stickers (as we do each morning and night) she said "koala" clear as day. one thing she certainly communicates clearly is thirst, screaming AGUA! AGUA! many times during the day, and then drink like she just staggered out of the desert. not surprisingly, she's also pretty proficient at "NO!"
she is curious, giggly, goofy and happy. she is eating well, and her sleep is *finally* working itself out. for a few weeks now she's been sleeping 12 straight hours, praise JESUS. she has mostly phased out her afternoon
in true bean fashion, certain text books would infer that she is a little late getting around to walking unassisted. however, like her other milestones, this is not a result of physical inability. after months of cruising between pieces of furniture, at the ripe old age of 16 months, bean is just taking her first steps solo, because bean will walk just like bean does everything else: whenever she damn well pleases. i expect that she will be picking up speed now as she seems to really enjoy it...but not when you try to help her, of course. bean likes to do things on her terms.
work is going well...i'm getting used to the flow of the evening shift, and if i didn't have young kids it would be ideal. unfortunately, even when i get out on time i'm not in bed until 1am, which doesn't make for much sleep before the day starts again. however, it's nice to be settling in, getting to know the patients, the doctors, my coworkers, etc. i'm definitely gaining confidence and fluidity, although there is plenty to learn every shift. nursing is similar to parenting in a lot of ways...a lot of cleaning and feeding and nurturing. working this shift, i even tuck my patients in at night.
tonight as we were completing our bedtime ritual, i found myself getting very excited because in mere moments i'd be able to do the dishes, check my email, and knit...and then i got even more excited when i decided i'd check email first, do dishes last. and then i laughed at myself and the sheer ridiculousness of that whole internal monologue. the luxury of doing dishes without bean pitching a fit because she can't see what's going on makes doing dishes a relaxing pastime. it's difficult to explain or even really grasp just how much your life changes with little ones around, every second, every decision, every action, every step, every breath is dictated 100% by what the kids are doing, what they need, what they will need shortly, their mood, what their mood will be shortly... but i really love them, and i love being a mom. they are just awesome. and i love nursing, and i love knitting and blogging and cooking, and blogging about being a mom and a nurse and knitting and cooking. so while very busy, overall, life is very fulfilling these days.
to reiterate, bean is now sleeping through the night, guaranteeing us between 11 and 13 uninterrupted hours of nightly freedom and rest. that development is hands down the largest quality of life improvement since my cousin ted figured out that all we have to do to keep our ultra-sensitive smoke alarm from bursting our ear drums on a twice-weekly basis is to cover it with saran wrap and a rubber band. cannot stress it enough: bean is now sleeping through the night. there is a lord jesus.
it's interchangeably interesting, frustrating and truly mind boggling how quickly life has continued to move forward in a constant blur over the past ten years while i remain mostly oblivious in my own little bubble of work and study. eight years ago feels like two years ago, and seven months ago seems like last week. little babies of friends and relatives whom i feel i just met and whom i figured would barely be talking are now approaching middle school, and out of nowhere i apparently have two kids who are leaving milestones in their wake on a daily basis.
along those lines, my interview trip several months ago (has it been that long ago already?! seriously.) to sacramento appears to have been a success. it is now very likely that our goal of moving to davis, california will become a reality. in a very fortunate and flattering series of events, three job interviews quickly became three preliminary job offers, and i found myself in the enviable dilemma of choosing between some very attractive opportunities. after the first was weeded out, the ultimate decision came between working fewer hours for more slightly more pay (although the pay could fluctuate depending on the economy, which as we all know blows goats at the moment, especially in northern california), versus working at a job that would include teaching residents from UC Davis (a pretty sharp group) and thus having the opportunity to work on "whatever project or projects you would like to develop" to further the program. to me, an as-of-yet undetermined project in a foreign country (costa rica has an uncanny ability to strike my fancy) seems exceptionally appealing. fortunately, any decision on a job is not a life-sentence and i
specifically with respect to our kids: in spite of the moments of frustration (i'm lookin at you stinky), there is no question that they have been wonderful treasures, enriching our lives in very powerful ways. bean has been on a grade-A streak of goodness-- her smile combined with one of her kisses has the power to immediately make anyone forgive and forget whatever stinkiness may have preceeded it over the past two hours. while she's not quite yet verbalizing in any meaningful way, she is now at a point where her receptive vocabulary (in two languages) is blossoming by the minute. she's becoming more and more comfortable on two feet and now staggers all over the apartment, a development that is both exciting, super cute and also a little scary as we anticipate her next impressive fall. chief has yet to have his first bad streak. this kid's the sh*t. he only cries when he's hungry, which i find 100% reasonable. he laughs hardest when he's playing with his big sister and is already rolling all over the floor and loving his jumper. my impression is that because he's so enamored with eli, he'll be hitting his physical milestones sooner just because he's so interested in keeping up with her. i really, really love my kids.
