happy birthday, bean

to my dear, beautiful and precious girl on your third birthday,

oh bean, it will be a real struggle to summarize all of the amazing changes you have undergone over the past year.  when i try to remember back to the time surrounding your second birthday, which is already so difficult to recall, i can't believe you are the same person, because you have grown in so many ways.  you had to grow up very quickly when your brother was born before you were even a year old, and since then, we have (sometimes perhaps unfairly), expected a level of maturity and grace from you uncommon in toddlers.  while you haven't let us forget you have every ability to bring down the house with a runaway train of a tantrum, these are truly the exception, and barely worth mentioning.  for, in every possible way, you have become thoughtful, considerate, empathetic, and reasoned in a way that simply stuns anyone who interacts with you.  people are shocked to learn you are only three, guessing you are at least a year older, and that estimate might be most restricted by your height vs. emotional maturity.

shortly after you arrived in california last july, you went from a generally crabby and unreasonable two year old to an explorative and expressive child.  all of the space within our home and the ability to easily roam freely outside agreed with you, and helped to quiet much of the frustration you experienced cooped up in our small apartment.  you became more agile, climbing jungle gyms, taking gymnastics, playing soccer and frisbee, and even ran in your first race.  you have continued your love of music and know every word to the sound of music soundtrack with perfect pitch, and you love to paint and draw and build castles.

you maintained your exceptional attention span, often reading by yourself for extended periods.  you became more verbose, communicating increasingly lengthy sentences, giving us fascinating insight into your mind and thoughts.  your memory amazes us--you never forget a single detail of conversation or our happenings during the day, and remind us of them weeks and months later, slowly beginning to craft your own style of story telling.  just in the past weeks, you have begun careful qualifying and negotiating statements, first acknowledging what has been asked, then giving a thoughtful explanation of why you have no plans to follow our directions at that moment.

you are so observant, and have a perception of your surroundings well beyond your years.  you quickly register any shift in mood, and consciously change your behavior or attempt to otherwise improve the situation, then check back to see if we're satisfied.  you make timely and appropriate suggestions of the way we should organize our day.  i often hear parents of toddlers complain that their children seem lacking in empathy and morality, and have zero logic or reason.  while admittedly you're not an adult, if anyone takes a moment to explain a situation, you quickly catch on to this reasoning, and then file it away to use again in a future applicable situation.  often, i think we become frustrated with you only because you have set an unrealistically high bar of what we can expect, and when you act like a typical three year old, it really surprises us.  i remind myself at these times that those qualities in you that frustrate us most as your parents (attention to detail, particularness, determination) are the very qualities that will serve you so well as an adult.  no, we do not worry about your potential to succeed, stand up for yourself or think independently at all.

all of your compassion and thoughtfulness is perhaps best illustrated in your relationship with your brother, which is the most loving, affectionate, and sweet companionship.  you do have your squabbles, but truly, you are the best of friends.  you dote upon him, comfort him when he is upset, troubleshoot his frustration, and exist with him in a special world that no adult can really understand or join.  often we find you reading books to him, even practicing letters, numbers, colors, shapes and animals, such that he too is now far ahead of the curve developmentally, the two of you speaking in full paragraphs to one another.  you have helped him learn to walk, run, kick and throw balls, go down slides, and make himself dizzy.  when you hear him crying in his bed, you get so upset trying to comfort him from a distance that frequently, you almost start to cry too, so profound is your connection to him and your desire to protect and nurture him.

i have been so blessed to spend this awe inspiring year with you, to observe the ways you have grown and matured.  i speak to you and treat you no differently than i do any adult friend of mine, and that is truly what you have become--my best little friend, my personal assistant, the one i bounce ideas off of, make plans with, the one who rolls her eyes with me when reese is acting goofy, the one who knows me and understands me and is by my side all the time.  so few are fortunate enough to have a relationship like ours, and i find myself so eager to see what each day holds in store for you, the connections you will make, the stories you will tell.  and in the long term, to see what a unique and remarkable child you have become, and to witness the ways you will continue to grow and astound us.

happy birthday to my favorite girl, my best friend.  i love you.