the life of bean.

yet again we've (i've) been very bad at blogging. this time, however, it's not because i'm incredibly busy, but actually so incredibly unbusy that i have little motivation to do anything. funny how that works. the bean has turned into a piece of cake baby (more on that to come), my classes are mostly online, no exams, little homework, and grandma two floors up to step in when needed. as a result, the apartment is in a constant state of disarray and neither the bean nor i probably get as many baths as we should. however, it occurred to me last time we were in michigan that since i'm too lazy to keep a baby book for bean, this blog is going to be our only record of her early days, so i figure we ought to at least keep up. plus, i have officially commenced finals week, so it seems an ideal time to concentrate on this rather than school, at least for a few hours.


bean's first chargers jersey...starting the brainwashing early (~5 wks).


~10 wks

i see that the last blog was posted almost exactly two months ago...which is an eternity in bean time. she's become a whole different baby about 6 times over in that time period, which is pretty fun to watch. i believe where we left off, bean was cute and everything, but really making us unhappy with the several-hour crying episodes. we'd made peace with our colicky baby diagnosis, but weren't thrilled at the prospect of at least a few more months of nonstop screaming.


~7 wks


~10 wks

well, with all the fuss about colic, you'd never imagine that our bean's was cured literally overnight (though it took about a week to work out all the kinks). at the advice of our friend alyssa, we picked up a book called "happiest baby on the block," and after reading the first 5 pages, bean had about her 5th night of silence since the colic began. the next day i completed the book, and by the end of that week, bean was sleeping a solid 6 hours through the night at the tender age of 5 weeks. this is apparently unheard of in the world of babies. with a little more tweaking and increasing confidence over the next few weeks, bean started sleeping for stretches of up to 8 hours, followed by a quick snack, and now will go back to bed for another few hours after that without any trouble. if you know somebody with an infant, i recommend you keep this information private, as it seems to really piss off other parents.


bean's first time feeling grass, millenium park, ~5 wks


~10 wks

you may be wondering what kind of witchcraft we perform on our daughter every night, but it's actually quite simple. the argument this pediatrician makes is that for various compelling evolutionary reasons i won't delve into here, human babies are not quite ready for life outside the womb when they exit it. thus, they can be very fussy, but that can easily be corrected by essentially simulating womb-like conditions for the first three months of life or so. it's not hocus pocus, in fact, you'll see the simple techniques used in cultures all over the world where people use ancient wisdom rather than new technology to raise their babies. sometimes, less is more.

~ 7 wks


smiling lovingly at dad, ~9 wks

things like swaddling, rocking, sucking, and white noise go an incredibly long way in calming a baby. unfortunately, i'm not a tribeswoman in central africa, so for various reasons i can't keep bean bundled up next to my bare chest 24 hrs a day or hand her around my tribe to take turns bouncing her through the night, so we have come to really appreciate some modern conveniences like the pacifier, and the swing, which bean slept in for several weeks (now we have weaned her to the point where she only has it on to fall asleep, but doesn't need constant motion to stay asleep through the night).

~7 wks


bean with mom in the art museum gardens, ~9 wks

as time passed and bean and i both caught up on several weeks of no sleep, we began to get to know each other much better, such that now she never really cries (and thus, neither do i). she makes different noises and motions that to me, clearly mean different things--little ooo ooo mmms deep in her throat mean "i'm hungry," mmm mmm mmm mmmmmmmms mean "i've sat in this wet diaper long enough," waaa aaaas mean "please swaddle me, i'm tired and i can't quite fall asleep because my arms are flailing all over and i don't know how to stop them yet," high pitched yelps mean "help, dad is trying to dress me," and any of those will turn into angry yell-cries like the colic of yore if not addressed in a timely manner; for example, getting out of a warm bath into the cold air does not bode well with bean. anything else just generally means she wants to participate in the conversation.


~7 wks, little bean mermaid


bean on museum campus with dad, ~9 wks

bean has only really cried three times in her life since nipping colic in the bud, and it's amazing how different a cry sounds when it's not the "i'm pissed, do something about it" cry. the first time was when i pinched her skin buckling her carseat, and i knew instantly what a painful cry sounded like. the second and third times came almost two months later, within days of each other--not a good weekend for the bean. let the record state that bean is *not* a fan of injections, and a week later, i swear she is still getting back to normal after her first round of vaccinations. she did however receive her first dose of children's tylenol shortly after...man, that stuff works! a few days later, we took bean to the farmer's market as a nice family outing, which turned into one of the worst days of bean's life when a huge jet screamed across the sky at a decibel not acceptable for human ears, waking her from sleep and igniting within her a primal fear that she was about to be mauled by a sabertooth cat or something. she was so traumatized we took her home and she slept for 6 straight hours in the middle of the day.

~8 wks


~8 wks

other than that, bean is actually quite vocal. the little dinosaur noises are now reserved for when bean is just rousing from sleep...her other musings have become quite intentional and human. especially right before bed, she will erupt in a flurry of ooos and aaahs with a very determined look on her face. she is becoming increasingly social and really likes to be a part of whatever is going on, and tries very hard to contribute to conversation. she hates to be alone in a room, and can sense it even when she's sleeping. in our 800 square foot apartment we're never far, but she likes to be able to see us at all times. she's much more interactive, making great eye contact, soaking in her surroundings, and just starting to take an interest in her toys if you shake them around in front of her face. she more or less holds her head up by herself, tries very hard to sit up and practice standing (but screams if you put her on her tummy), and we just learned last week that she has almost doubled her birth weight (11 lbs, 2 oz) and has grown three inches (22 in)!

big girl! ~9 wks


~10 wks


~9 wks

she's so well behaved these days that it's easy to go on with life more or less as usual. she sits next to me on the couch and helps me with my homework, or writing this blog, as the case may be. if our conversation becomes a distraction, i just start reading some of my schoolwork out loud to her and that usually knocks her out (i can't really blame her). we enjoy taking baths, singing, and dancing together (vampire weekend's "contra" is her favorite to dance to), and she comes with us to most places, like cafes to study, friends houses, shopping, and all around town. not surprisingly, everywhere she goes, everyone falls in love with her.

~9 wks


~9 wks

certainly, the most exciting development for most parents must be the smile. that fat, happy, toothless face will put a song in anyone's step. while many psychologists argue that at this young age, babies are unable to associate smiles with happiness, i find that adults are so conditioned to associate the two that you can't help but be filled with happiness and smile yourself when the bean 's whole body breaks out into one of her beautiful, beaming grins. especially when you smile and she smiles back at you, it's about the best feeling in the world.

~9 weeks

aside from her development, the bean has had many exciting adventures over the past two months. first, grandma jeannette moved to chicago.

the grandmas with bean, ~10 weeks

later that week, the michiganders came into town to help with the dual move and celebrate mickey's birthday. while child rearing has its challenges, i'm considering timing the birth of a child approximately a month before any future move, so i have a legitimate excuse not to lift a finger. no seriously, not a finger. thanks, mom!

bean celebrating zeda-upcha's* 60th bday, ~5 wks
*mickey's self appointed moniker, just smile and nod.


bean making herself at home in the new living room, ~6 wks

bean has met many important people:

aunt marissa, ~7 wks


cousin lupe ~5wks


great nani schey, ~10 wks


great nana, ~10 wks


and after one meeting while both in utero and two with bean in utero, bean and cousin ava finally met in person in bean's first baby to baby encounter! ~10 wks

lots of other exciting things have happened...mom is one year older

bean, mom, and dad watch the sunset on mom's 26th birthday, ~8wks


and bean had many firsts:

first trip to the field museum (a first for mom, too) ~9 wks


first trip on the el


first jazz concert, ~9 wks


first trip to shedd aquarium, ~9 wks


first swim! with dad, in lake michigan (sawyer, michigan) 9 wks. after the initial shock (and a few squeaks), it seems like bean really took to the water. like everything with a baby, beach trips are very different...bean had an explosive poop on the long car ride over, so after cleaning her, the carseat, applying sunscreen, putting on a bathing suit and hat, and creating an appropriately shady, molded spot in the sand, we barely had time for one dip before we had to pack up and head home (after stripping the bean, drying the bean, and changing the bean again). before, david and i would sort of bury our valuables and swim together, but neither of us felt right concealing the bean in some bunched up towels to go splash around. fortunately, the bean is very cute, which makes it all worthwhile.


enjoying the beach

first summit of a sand dune...it was a tall one!

the bean also had her first big trip back to michigan. she got to play in the yard where her mom grew up:


and visit her future college campus:

legend has it that if you walk on the M before your first blue book exam, you will fail it. i have a strong suspicion that blue books will have become obsolete by the time bean becomes a wolverine, so walk she did! ~11 wks


bean studying with mom, espresso royale cafe on state st, ~11 wks

we have many more adventures in the near future as well...stay tuned for the scoop on aunt emily and uncle eric's wedding and bean's first extended roadtrip, both forthcoming in september...

all about eli.

as i type, i am enjoying a lovely cup of mandarin orange rooibos tea. if you are one of the three followers of this blog, you may be wondering what i'm doing at sweetwaters in ann arbor, and for god's sake, where is my baby?! fear not, loyal readers. i am reclined on my chicago couch enjoying a rare interim of evening silence as princess eliana dozes comfortably in her swing (more on that to come). this best-of-both-worlds was made possible by my aunt heidi (not to be confused with david's cousin heidi, who for our wedding crocheted us a gorgeous lace table cloth out of i think 5 miles of string. yes, miles. what can i say, we have a plethora of crafty heidi's in our family), who among many generous gift-givers really spoiled us for life.

she's probably 2x larger now.

in addition to a beautiful hand made blanket, hat, and bear for the bean, she also sought out my favorite tea (and i know from good tea) in these satchets that are almost too pretty to drink (almost), along with a handcrafted elephant tea pot (we love elephants!), a purchase which provided food for a number of shelter dogs. ?!?!? are you kidding me?! it's like she breathed life into our recent ann arbor blog. between that and the zingermans care package courtesy the whitefield family, it's like i died and went to ann arbor...providing some much needed comfort and familiarity in the first two crazy weeks of parenthood. this gift was just totally over the top--more thoughtful and better executed than a marriage proposal, and really deserving of public thanks. so thank you, aunt heidi!

some of our homemade presents.

indeed, it turns out having a baby is almost as great as getting married in terms of loot. we have been totally overwhelmed and moved by the outpouring of thoughtfulness from friends and family. the best part about it is the lack of registry...it has been a lot of fun to see how creative everybody is with their gifting. of course, we really love all the homemade gifts...who knew we had such talented loved ones?! makes me wonder what happened to david and i, both products of very manually skilled gene pools, yet unable to between the two of us to even follow instructions of how to assemble things. we're hoping it skips a generation so that eli can do all of our home repairs, and plan to send her to camp higgs in pultneyville starting at an early age so she can learn vital skills we're lacking, like plumbing, roofing, and cabinetry. throughout the course of her life, she'll hopefully completely renovate whatever house we're living in.

so beautiful! 8 days old.

in any event, thank you to everyone for the gifts! we love them all!

now, onto life with eli in the first month or so of her ex-utero existence. i can't believe how fast time has flown, and how much she's growing and changing every day. hence, i felt it necessary to throw down a blog before she's getting ready to start high school. we always knew that life would change in ways impossible to conceive of without ever having children of our own, and like most parents, we were unable to prepare after a certain point for just how different it really would be. to begin, it's a big transition to go from being pregnant for 9 months to being unpregnant in a few seconds. there are things i will definitely miss (always being warm instead of freezing, long nails and thick hair for the first time in my life, guaranteed seats on public transit even during rush hour, quality time with my cats, and everyone telling me i look great simply because they can differentiate between my calves and ankles) and things i'm thrilled are back to baseline (drinking as much fluid as i want without needing to know every toilet within a 5 mile radius, eating anything, even if it's been sitting out or came from a buffet, being able to see my feet when i look down). but of course, the best part about this transition has been meeting and getting to know our little bean (that moniker has stuck, by the way).

tummy time with daddy.


diaper and wardrobe change at the zoo.

people often joke that babies don't come with an instruction manual. for david and i, that may be a good thing, as when we try to follow these instructions, things never seem to go right (our first attempt to use the stroller and both the back wheels fell off--my fault, but the next two attempts were thwarted by a lack of proper tools, until we finally completed assembly on the side of the road with a rock and a metal waterbottle...at least we're resourceful). however, we have been making notes here and there of good things to keep in mind, like, if there isn't pee AND doody when you open the dirty diaper, WAIT, or you will get covered in whatever's missing. also, don't check the diaper until after she eats, which appears to stimulate a serious gastrocolic reflex. she loves to have her hair washed and to be in her bathtub (like her mom), and riding in the car or sitting in her baby bjorn carrier puts her right to sleep. i never planned to give her a pacifier or put her in a swing, but thank god some wise friends of ours with parenting experience sent these items as gifts, as they are the most effective one-two punch at getting her to chill out (and giving our arms and my nipples a much needed rest).

the sound of silence.


this makes bathtime worth it.



most new parents seem to think the first two weeks are pretty horrible, followed by a marked improvement at six weeks, and then a legitimate light at the end of the tunnel at three months. in many ways, the first two weeks with eli were very easy. she was apparently in some kind of newborn stupor, and ate-doodied-slept in very predictable three hour cycles. and she NEVER cried. i would hear an adorable little baby bird noise in the middle of the night when she was hungry, and that was it. she slept the better part of every 24 hours, leaving me plenty of time to cook, clean, and do laundry. seriously, our apartment was never cleaner. this parenting thing is a cinch, i thought to myself.

yes, she really sleeps like this.

then one day, approximately 1.5 weeks into her life, we were laying in bed reading about children with endocrine dysfunction in preparation for the final exam i missed, and she started to cry. and to scream. and could not be consoled for several hours. i thought it was the studying, which also makes me want to scream and cry, but a similar episode occurred that evening, and then every evening since with the exception of two (and maybe three, if tonight continues to go well).

given that she remains very relaxed and quiet during the day, she continues to eat well and gain weight, my diagnosis of exclusion is that we've got ourselves a colicky baby. large bummer. and while it's pretty awful for your baby to scream for 4-6 hours every night, appear to be in tremendous pain, and to be completely powerless to help, like much of early parenting, a lot of the coping is a mental game. i think once we accepted that she's going to scream like that and our inability to console her does not make us incompetent parents, a lot of the frustration subsided, which makes it much easier to do what we can. similar to labor, different techniques can somewhat pacify her at different times, so every evening is an exercise in creativity and patience as we hand her back and forth, bouncing and patting her in all different positions. hopefully it's a soon-passing phase, and in the long run, we can't complain much as she remains perfectly healthy and despite short term discomfort, won't sustain any permanent damage. except maybe to her hearing. she is LOUD.

my little cupcake.

so, colic sucks for everyone (mostly eli). but, even with the onset of regular screaming fits, a lot did get easier after the first two weeks. i chalk this up to simply getting more comfortable and with each day, getting to know eli better as she begins to develop a personality. despite almost being a nurse and david being a doctor, the first several nights sleeping with a newborn next to me, i was petrified she would die in her sleep. numerous times a night, i would reach over (she sleeps in a three sided crib flush with our bed) to check her respiration rate and palpate her peripheral pulses. if she coughed, i would immediately roll her onto her side and prepare to perform suction and cpr. does not make for a great night of sleep. but after a few weeks, a combination of seeing her puke a few times without consequence and probably the exhaustion finally catching up has allowed me to adjust to the weird broken up sleep and actually feel pretty rested during the day, which is nice.

bean cooking with mom


out on the town in her bjorn

it absolutely does not come as a surprise to me that a child stewing in my juices for 9 months seems to be developing a bit of sass as she evolves into herself. there's no question she phenotypically is her dad...we've recognized plenty of higgs and eljaiek in her features and mannerisms, but so far, no rahman and definitely no hurst. she's starting to belch, fart, and snore in ways that really make her dad proud, and her little baby bird noises have segued into grunts and squeaks that more resemble what a baby dinosaur might've sounded like (i don't know why, but for some reason i picture a triceratops). her eyes have become brighter, and her cheeks much fatter.

maybe 5 days old here. she's saying she's hungry.


most recent picture, 3.5 weeks old

but in addition to these physical changes, her emotional changes suggest that in some ways, she does take after her mom (read, sassy). she used to sleep like a rock anywhere in the apartment reliably for 3 hours at a time, went to bed very easily, and slept there until we were ready to get up in the morning. now just when i think i've gotten her to sleep and try to shower, if she opens her eyes and sees she's alone, she will scream at the top of her lungs until somebody is within her peripheral vision (which is about all of 14 inches right now). on nights she has colic episodes, she won't go to sleep unless she's in the big girl bed getting patted and having her pacifier replaced ever 3 seconds she spits it out (pacifier, one of the genius items that has made these episodes bearable). she sleeps great in her bed at night, but after 6am, if we try to put her back, she will kick and scream until she is placed yet again in our bed between us. the moment she hits our mattress, the screaming stops and she goes totally unconscious. some of you may debate this, but as she has discovered her arms and legs, there is a lot of hitting and kicking going on that i swear seems intentional, and she recently projectile pooped all over david and our white comforter at 4am, i swear, with a large smile on her face. but to be fair, for much of the day she's very docile and sweet. again, like her mom.


big girl bed with mom--she likes to hold hands to fall back asleep


big girl bed with dad...i walked in on this, it was not posed.

she's well behaved enough during daylight hours that we've actually been able to introduce her to much of chicago's best. she has had a few trips to the u of c campus, some walks by the lakeshore, a long trip to the zoo, and her first lebanese and vietnamese cuisine. now that she's big enough to fit into her carrier, she comes with me to run errands around the neighborhood as well. a few days ago i went into school to take the final exam i missed, and since we haven't given her a bottle yet, she and her dad joined me (so she could eat whenever she got hungry) and met many of my teachers, which was a lot of fun. after my official end to the spring quarter, we celebrated with outdoor pizza and beer.

bean's first tiger


lincoln park lily pond


bean's first pho (so good), 1.5 weeks old

actually, tomorrow will be my first day away from her, and david's first day as a single parent. he's very excited--i'm totally mortified. the longest i have gone without seeing eli was the 40 minutes i took my final, and she was 10 feet away from me in the next room. tomorrow will be a full EIGHT HOURS. i have prepared david for the possibility that he needs to drive her to me during my lunch break. i spent much of this weekend getting friendly with my breast pump (that i'm kind of obsessed with and as a result in two days have pumped i think about four gallons of milk), so they have a big day tomorrow of introducing eli to the bottle among whatever other adventures her dad has in store (he says it's a secret, despite demanding that i send him frequent email updates and pages about everything she does while *he's* at work).

hanging by the lakeshore


bean's first picnic, u of c, one week old.

so, it's definitely the start of a new era! in just a few days, eli will be a month old. i go back to school tomorrow, but will fortunately only be out of the house on two days and for a total of 12 hours...which still seems like a lot. i will really miss her, but i'm happy not to be falling behind in school, and i think it will be good for my mental health to do something besides breastfeed most hours of the day (although, i've taken to reading news magazines while i feed her to help pass the time). i can't believe she's going to start taking a bottle, but that might mean david can take over some of the nighttime care, which would be nice on days i have to be out of the house early or take an exam. grandma jeannette officially becomes a midwesterner in just over a week now (and thus we are about to switch over from all english to mostly spanish language); eli and i have been hard at work reading backed issues of bon appetite (i was so sick in the first trimester i could not even read about food) to plan an appropriate welcoming/first mirthday party menu.

bean showing off her 'tude

we have almost made it through the first month! not free of challenges, but on the whole, actually not so bad, and definitely full of learning and a lot of laughter and smiles. life has been made much easier by all of the support we get from friends and family, as well as a few astute purchases that it's really too bad all parents can't benefit from (cosleeper=never leaving your bed at night and hence, everyone sleeping better. swing=a break from constant manual rocking and bouncing. pacifier=quiet and rest for battered nipples). the cats, though definitely neglected, seem to have adjusted pretty well to their little sister and have done an impressive job respecting boundaries and behaving themselves without much direction from us.

so hip

aside from the two days post birth, david has been back to his regular schedule. while that doesn't leave the optimal amount of time for him to hang out with eli or for us to spend time together, i can't imagine doing this without him. he is such a patient, doting, fun and loving dad. eli and i both love it when he comes home and i can hand her over to him for awhile...seems no matter how exhausted he is or what happened during his shift, he totally lights up when he sees her and forgets about everything else. it's really something special to watch. while we always speculated our complimentary personalities would be ideal for parenting as they are for marriage, it's pretty great to see that in action.

bean's first mohawk, 3 weeks old

more to come...and i think it's officially the third night in the past 2.5 weeks with no screaming!